Ask Sis Dolly: He's abusive

By Drum Digital
09 November 2016

He’s a verbal and physical abuser, I lie to my family if I have bruises on my body, Our sex life is pathetic; he’s short tempered; doesn’t take jokes; is always on his phone and out with friends; and has even gone out and hired a sex worker to impress them

I’m a 32-year-old married female with a nine-year-old daughter. I’ve been having problems in my 10-year marriage since 2006 and I’ve been hiding it.

My husband once accused me of cheating and even announced it to his family. He’s a verbal and physical abuser. I lie to my family if I have bruises on my body.

Our sex life is pathetic; he’s short tempered; doesn’t take jokes; is always on his phone and out with friends; and has even gone out and hired a sex worker to impress them.

I’ve persevered in this marriage thinking all relationships go through this, but I don’t love him. In January, I started an affair with a younger man at work. My husband suspects something and has turned into double the monster he was before.

He’s unemployed and I’m paying all the bills. He also says nasty things in front of our daughter. When I told him I want out, he said he’ll change.

Should I try to work things out for the sake of our daughter or give the new guy a chance?

Sis Dolly answers 

You’re certainly in a difficult situation. But the decision you take should not be based on anyone else but you.

Start by looking at what you will gain or lose by choosing either man. What will the possible challenges be, and will you be ready to face whatever comes your way? Just make sure you do what makes you happy, and don’t regret your decision later.

It’s always advisable not to jump from one relationship to the other without proper thought.

Take your time. You could also benefit by seeking counselling from LifeLine on 0861-322-322

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