Ask Sis Dolly: He’s married

By Drum Digital
10 June 2014

He married someone else but still wants to be with me

Anonymous asks: I’m 21 and in love with a man who is 36. When I met him he told me he has two kids who live with their mother.

I waited nine months before sleeping with him. After that he did everything for me, even supporting my daughter from my first marriage.

Then he suddenly married the mother of his children “for the sake of the kids”. He says he loves me more than his wife and wants us to have a child together.

What should I do?

Sis Dolly answers:  You’re probably feeling sad,confused, angry, shocked andbetrayed. I suggest you give therelationship a break so that youcan be alone to think about yourfuture and what you really wantfor yourself.

Don’t contact him until you’re sure that you want to play second fiddle to his wife for the rest of your life – because that is what you are going to do.

Also, do you want to have a child with this man who is committed, emotionally and financially, to two other children, and will never live with you and his child as long as he is married to another woman?

Think long and hard about it – you can still choose a different life for yourself even if you do love this man. The fact is he didn’t have to marry the mother of his children – but he did. He could have chosen you over her, but he didn’t.

What does this tell you about his commitment to you? Can you see that he is simply using you or thinks he can have his cake and eat it too?

I think you know that you need to get away from this man. After all, he’s not only treating you badly but his wife, too. Is this really the kind of man you want to father your children and decide your future? I think not. Cut the ties and run.

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