Ask Sis Dolly: I cheated as payback

By Drum Digital
23 September 2016

In the middle of last year, I decided to cheat because I was angry at him for all the things he’d done

I’m a 30-year-old female who got married a year ago. My husband and I have been together for about four years. During this period, he cheated on me and was also very abusive.

Then, in the middle of last year, I decided to cheat because I was angry at him for all the things he’d done. In September last year, he decided to pay lobolo and I was very excited and I broke it off with the other guy.

My husband then changed for the better and we were happy like we were when we just started dating. Recently, he found pictures of me and the other guy on my phone; I forgot to delete them.

Now, he wants a divorce. I lost count of how many times I forgave him for cheating, but he doesn’t want to forgive me. He is also refusing to go for counselling.

Please help, I can’t live without him.

Sis Dolly Answers

Your husband seems to be holding on to how society has shaped us. That is: when it comes to infidelity, a man can be easily forgiven no matter how many times he does it, but not a woman.

It is rather unfortunate that he’s not willing to attend counselling as I believe it would be beneficial for you. I suggest you talk to him about it and see if he would be open to the idea of both of you seeing someone from your religious affiliation.

If not, perhaps he would be open to the idea of your families sitting down together to discuss this.

Good luck.

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