Ask Sis Dolly: I’m gay

By Drum Digital
15 July 2014

Anonymous wants to tell his family he's gay but doesn't know how.

Anonymous asks Sis Dolly:  I’m 22 and in a loving gay relationship with a 26-year-old guy. I really love him but I don’t know how to tell my family that I’m gay. I need to tell them my secret before they find out from someone else. How should I go about it?

Sis Dolly answers: You have to accept that yournews might not go down verywell. Some of your family andfriends will have a hard timeaccepting that you’re gay. Theymight be upset, disappointedand even reject you.

While this will be very upsetting, you should see coming out as a process. If they can’t accept your sexual orientation now, it doesn’t mean that they never will. They might need time to adjust to the idea and let go of certain expectations that they had – that you would get married and give them grandchildren, for example.

Think about whether you want to tell them face to face or whether you want to write it down in a letter. Either way, you’ll need support to cope with their reaction.

I suggest you get emotional support and counselling before you take the plunge by contacting Out (012-430-3272), which has professionals to point you in the right direction. Out offers counselling services to the gay and lesbian community and this includes helping gay men and women who have difficulty coming out.

It’s always helpful to speak to a professional to explore your options.

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