Ask Sis Dolly: is he serious about me?

By Drum Digital
11 June 2014

Sthandwa wants to know if she's been played

Sthandwa asks: Last June I met a guy and two days later he told me his parents wanted to meet me. I then met them as well as his grandmother and they were great. His grandmother even visited my home and slept over.

We agreed to just be friends but one day when I visited him at varsity we made love. Now I’m unsure of what’s going on. We slept together again but we don’t talk about what’s happening. He knows I was single before we met but I never asked him if he had a girlfriend.

Even though he’s very busy he assured me that he’d make time for me when I needed him. But when I asked him to spend New Year’s Eve with me last year he said he’d be in Joburg with his friends. He asked me to celebrate with his family. What is going on? I’m confused.

Sis Dolly answers: Ask him what you’ve just askedme, and you’ll know where youstand with him. From readingyour letter you’ve hit the nail onthe head: the two of you don’tcommunicate. I’m not surprisedyou’re confused and anxious. You don’t seem to know very much about him, while he knows everything about you and even has you meeting his family. At this point, the relationship seems one-sided. Have you introduced him to your parents?

Have you thought about why you slept with him in the first place? Did it happen by accident? You know, one thing leads to another and the next thing you’re in the sack?

Or have you always had the hots for him? And why did it happen again? Did you use protection? Is he using you because you’re available?

These are the things you have to think about. As far as he is concerned, the two of you are still friends with the occasional casual sex thrown in for some excitement. I suggest you have a heart-to-heart with this guy and ask him what his intentions are.

If he just wants to be friends, you owe it to yourself not to sleep with him, no matter how you feel about him. Ask yourself – what’s in it for you? If you’re confused, speak to a counsellor on campus about what to do from here.

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