Ask Sis Dolly: Issues with my in-laws

By Drum Digital
17 January 2017

He family has met me with total disrespect, and they make life changing decisions without my or the children’s consent

I’ve been married for 14 years and have three children. My wife’s family is causing problems in our marriage.

I knew she had a strong bond with her family so I let her remain close to them because I love her very much. This has been met with total disrespect towards me, and they make life changing decisions without my or the children’s consent.

After this, I banned her family from our place. When she asked why, I told her that they seem to take priority over the children and me.

And because of a life-changing decision she and the family made, she’s caused us financial ruin.

I feel I should leave her and move on, but the children are holding me back.

Our sex life has also come to a halt.

What can I do to resolve the situation?

Sis Dolly answers 

There’s an insightful saying: If you marry someone, you marry their family. But it looks like your wife’s family has taken it to the extreme, and she’s allowed them to do it.

Both of you should have set boundaries for both your families regarding their level of involvement in your life.

It’s time the two of you talk about priorities: Where you are at the moment, where you see yourselves in the future and what you have to do to achieve that.

If there’s anything left to salvage of your 14 years together, it has to be done now or else it will be too late.

If you find it difficult to talk to your wife, seek marriage counselling.

Call the Family and Marriage Society of SA (Famsa) on 011-975-7106 for a branch near you.

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