Ask Sis Dolly: She flirts with her Exes

By Drum Digital
07 October 2016

She had two other boyfriends before we met and I learnt soon afterwards that she was flirting with and meeting them, even though she claimed to have cut ties

I’ve been with my girlfriend for seven years. She had two other boyfriends before we met and I learnt soon afterwards that she was flirting with and meeting them, even though she claimed to have cut ties.

This made me jealous and insecure. She lies about everything, I always find out and then she’ll deny it, and we fight before she confesses.

Our communication is very unhealthy. I’ve invested a lot of time and commitment in this relationship and it’s hard for me to just up and go.

I now find myself entertaining other girls because I just don’t trust her any more. I don’t like who I’ve become.

I sniff around her phone to find reasons for her behaviour. We’ve lived together for five years.

What do you suggest I do?

Sis Dolly answers

The challenge with trust is that once it’s broken, it’s never easy to mend. It seems as if your relationship has been on the rocks for a long time now.

By starting relationships outside of it, you’ve fallen into the same trap that caused conflict when your girlfriend was doing it. Both of you need to think and talk about what it is you want out of the relationship – your expectations and where the relationship is heading.

This can be done with a relationship counselor who will be an impartial mediator.

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