Ask Sis Dolly: Should I leave him?

By Drum Digital
10 August 2016

I’m 30 and have been dating a guy for 10 years and living with him since 2012. He has paid full lobolo for me.

I’m 30 and have been dating a guy for 10 years and living with him since 2012. He has paid full lobolo for me. In 2014, he decided I should go back home and said I was cheating. A month later, he came back and we sorted out our differences but I didn’t move back with him. Once when I visited him, his phone rang but he ignored it.

I answered and was surprised that it was a woman calling at 4 am. When I asked him who it was, he just kept quiet. The next time she called she told me they’ve been dating for six months, which corresponded with the time we were separated. I decided to end things since he had replaced me.

Two months later, he came back and involved our families and promised he’d sorted out his life. But a month later, the woman told him she was pregnant. DNA tests proved he is the father.

Now the woman keeps calling at night or early in the morning. I’m afraid he’ll go back to her since they have a child, and I’ve already had three miscarriages and am battling to stay pregnant.

Is it wise to fight for this relationship since I love him so much, or should I just give up?

Sis Dolly answers:

There is no disputing he has to be part of the child’s life, but the decision to stay or leave is about you and what you want. Ask yourself if the treatment you’re receiving is worthy of the 10 years of your life you’ve given this man.

Sit down and discuss his involvement with the mother of the child. Keep in mind that if you stay, you have to accept that they will be a part of your lives. That will need a lot of courage and understanding.

The main issue here is: are you willing to be part of the triangle?

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