Ask Sis Dolly: They're keeping me from my baby's father

By Drum Digital
31 May 2016

I’m 21 with a two-year-old son and I live in Mpumalanga with my grandparents.

I’m 21 with a two-year-old son and I live in Mpumalanga with my grandparents.

My family doesn’t want me to communicate with my baby’s daddy.

They don’t want me to be with him. I don’t understand why they don’t talk to me or ask me how I feel about this situation.

It hurts me because I grew up without a mother and father and now they want my son to grow up without a father, too. My baby’s father is willing to be there for me and his son, but my family refuses.

Should I run away or commit suicide?

I need help desperately.

Sis Dolly answers

Things may be hard right now, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Is the depth of your unhappiness really about this situation or about your sense of loss about growing up without parents? What are your family’s reasons for preventing you from communicating with your baby’s daddy?

All of these things need to be taken into consideration. It could be your family thinks you are too young to have had a baby and they’re using a very simplistic logic to keep you

away from your child’s father so you don’t fall pregnant again.

There are, however, ways to convince them of the value of his role in your child’s life. Start taking that approach and making sure your baby’s daddy is upholding his side of the bargain, both financially and emotionally.

Talk to your family about your pain of not growing up with your parents and explain that you don’t want this for your child.

I recommend that you contact Sadag’s suicide crisis helpline on 0800-567-567 for counselling and support.

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