Ask Sis Dolly: When your big mouth gets you into trouble

By Drum Digital
24 December 2013

Anonymous ask:

I love socialising but it always leads to problems when I’m with my colleagues and their partners. I don’t know how to behave in front of them and I always end up saying the wrong thing and offending people. I don’t know how to stop even though I say nasty things and can’t keep my big mouth shut. I’ve tried to avoid these people but I have to interact with them at work. I know they talk about me behind my back because of the tactless things I say. I’d prefer to not be aggressive and confrontational all the time. I’d like to move away and start afresh, but it’s not possible right now. - Anonymous, email

Sis Dolly answers

Being talkative isn’t all bad. chatty people are often the life and soul of a party and they’re very popular. The problem is, you seem to blurt out all the wrong things and if you don’t stop you’ll You need to watch your words. Make every word count. Don’t say anything until you have something nice or funny to say, that doesn’t involve criticism of others. If you’re used to just saying whatever comes to mind, you’ll have to learn the discipline of listening. It’s a very useful skill to acquire, and could just solve your problem.

I think it runs deeper, though, and you probably need to talk to a counsellor or church pastor about why you’re so aggressive with people.

Running away isn’t the answer; you’ll only transfer your venom from one town or city to another. Focus on saying good things about people, being generous in your assessment of others – and get useful life skills from a professional to help you on your way.

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