Ask Sis Dolly: Who's right for me?

By Drum Digital
18 October 2016

Do I stay with the 40 year old married man? or do I go back to the 28 year old who's ready for a serious relationship?

I’m 33, divorced and have three children. I dated a 28-year-old man and broke up with him as he’s never had a serious relationship, no children and told me he’ll never get married.

I then got involved with a 40-year-old married man and we got very close. The problem started when my younger ex-boyfriend wanted us to talk.

He told me he’s now ready to have a serious relationship and wants to marry me. He said he’d only ask for one child since I already have three. I was honest and told him I’ve moved on.

However, one day he asked me to go and do an HIV test with him as we’ve done previously. This time, my result came back positive.

He was very supportive and told me he still loves me despite my result. I didn’t believe him and didn’t want him to be near me since I didn’t want to hurt or infect him with HIV.

I continued dating a married man, who’s also HIV-positive. He wants to make me his second wife.

I want to choose the right man who I can count on because I’m confused and don’t want to make the biggest mistake of my life by choosing the wrong man who will later regret our relationship.

Sis Dolly answers 

You are between a rock and a hard place. It depends on who you love and want to spend your life with.

Weigh up your options if you choose the younger man or the married man. They both have something to give you, but which one of the two has a more attractive offer? Remember, whatever decision you make now you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life.

Further, counselling and information sessions on HIV/Aids will help you cope.

Call Lifeline’s Aids helpline on 0800-012-322.

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