Ask Sis Dolly:He must stay away

By Drum Digital
09 June 2014

Sis Dolly advises

Anonymous asks: I’m 25 and the father of my 4-month- old baby boy is 26. When I found out I was pregnant he told me he wasn’t ready and said I must have an abortion.

His mother convinced me to keep the baby and said she’d help me look after the child. And while I was still pregnant his mother told me he wasn’t sure it is his baby.

Now, four months after the birth, he’s sent me an e-mail wanting to know how I am. I don’t want anything to do with him or for him to come near my baby. Am I wrong?

Sis Dolly answers: This is a tough one. You probably feel let down by your ex, who didn’t have the courage to stick with you through this pregnancy and the birth of your child. The thing is, do you love him?

Do you think he deserves another chance? Maybe he made a mistake and panicked when he heard you were pregnant. It’s an immature reaction, but no one’s perfect. It’s up to you to decide how involved you want him to be in your life and your baby’s.

If he is the father, then he should support you and the child financially by paying maintenance. He should have visiting rights, for the child’s sake, even if it will be difficult for you.

Sit down and think things through. If you think there is a chance he’s not the father, or to prove to him that he most certainly is, ask him to have a paternity test done so that you can sue him for maintenance if you don’t want to take up the relationship where it left off.

If you still have feelings for him but don’t know how to deal with the situation, contact a counsellor at LifeLine on 0861-322-322 for some advice.

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