DRUM remembers Joan Rivers

By Drum Digital
05 September 2014

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor- Joan Rivers

At 81 after a career spanning over half a century, funny woman Joan Rivers died yesterday. In memory of this comedian, actress, author and television presenter we give you some of her best quotes;

  1. "If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.”
  2. "I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking."
  3. “I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.”
  4. “I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.”
  5. “People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”
  6. “I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”
  7. "You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it."
  8. "At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents."
  9. "I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door—or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present."
  10. "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's gift. That's why we call it the present."

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