FICTION: Angela’s Anxiety (part one)

By Drum Digital
28 November 2016

What is it Thabo wants to tell me? Is he breaking up with me?

By Remagio Dhlamini

Angela was trying to keep her composure. “Thabo, what's wrong?” The hand holding her smart phone began to tremble. She'd had a really long day. A long day of thinking, analysing and trying to figure out what Thabo wanted to tell her.

The day had started just like any other. She had successfully finished a big project at work, and the tension that had ruled her professional life for some weeks was now suddenly absent. Angela felt like celebrating, telling her Thabo the welcome news that she was now free to concentrate totally on him.

When the SMS came through, she'd been gathering up all her kit, busy preparing to set off for a hard session at the gym. She’d been expecting the daily message from Thabo, proclaiming how amazing she was and how lucky he was to have her in his life. Those messages were what inspired her not to skip gym. The thought of how much he appreciated her was one more reason to be the best she could be.

She was packing her bag when the phone beeped. She grinned at the sound. As usual the screen read: "Unread Message From MySmileKeeper".

Angela opened the message, but instead of comfort, it brought her a faster-beating heart.

It read: Angela, I'm sorry to be writing this but I just can't live with myself any more. There is something I'd like to tell you coz it's killing me inside. I can't even tell you over the phone; it has to be in person. I want to say I'm sorry in advance. I'll come to your place as soon as I leave work. I'm really sorry!

A string of unanswered questions raced through her mind. Did I do something wrong? Or maybe he got a job in another country? Has he been diagnosed with a terminal illness?

I need to keep my cool, she thought. I can't make it clear to him that I'm in a total flat panic. The usual sensation he made her feel was just butterflies in her stomach, not the storm that was now building ominously in her heart.

Angela's trembling finger dotted the touch screen, typing: Okay love, see you later.

She felt that she was breaking down. This thing with Thabo was been the most promising relationship she'd been in for a very long time. She'd even introduced the guy to her family. And every time she went home to visit, they'd ask about him and when the two of them were finally going to tie the knot. It was clear her family loved him and her friends adored their relationship.

The thought of it all coming to an end left her motionless. She just sat there on the edge of the bed like a person in a picture. Angela skipped gym and barely ate all day long. She could feel her uncertain heart beating in her chest.

She couldn't even watch television, as everything that wasn't Thabo had become an annoyance to her. And time seemed to go as fast as a snail on a go-slow strike. But her thoughts kept on racing through her head and would not calm down.

I've never been in a situation like this. I’m actually doubting, questioning someone I adore. I don't even know if I'm going forward or back. This Thabo message is something none of my friends could understand, or help me with. I have to be alone and strong, even though everything is breaking into thousand pieces. Angela could feel her world crashing around her. And if Thabo was going to destroy the happiest relationship she'd ever enjoyed, she wanted the world to end right there and then.

The hours passed until she heard Thabo's car pull up on the driveway. At the sound her heart beat even faster and harder. There was a faint knock on the door. Not the usual excited rat-a-tat-tat she was used to, which made her even more nervous.

"Come in, it's open," she said.

Thabo came in. He didn't look his normal self. He was downcast and dragging his feet. Her heart sank even lower. She knew something awful was up. Thabo greeted her without even looking her in the eye. He sat right opposite her, looking at the floor.

“Thabo, what's wrong?”

To be continued . . .

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