Testotherapy: Why do men cheat?

By Drum Digital
02 June 2016

Even though we have done so much in the relationships, men can’t seem to be monogamous. We want to know, why do men cheat?

Question

My girlfriends are successful in our jobs and have nice homes and cars. Yet, we are very disappointed with men who have broken our hearts and cheated on us.

PORTIA, UMHLANGA

 Answer

I have had this conversation before with a few women and many times when they hear the answers; it becomes a bitter pill to swallow. Before I start, we need to agree that not all men cheat and that infidelity is wrong, however even though men know this, they still continue to do it. There are several reasons why men cheat and I’m going to break it down for you sister:

Men cheat because they can. A lot of men cheat because they have become so good at it they can write best-selling books about the subject for other dudes who suck at it. Mind you, you can be the great Sherlock Holmes and go through his phone, dig into his pockets when doing the laundry or follow him with your car, if a man wants to experiment the horizontal move with another woman, he will do it.

Men cheat because other women will sleep with them. I’ve listened to many radio stations where women confessed they don’t mind being umakhwapheni and skuff-tins. They know the guy they are sleeping with is either married or committed to a relationship, but they don’t care. Most of them will use all the tricks in the book to seduce other women’s men.

They feel they need to have sex with as many women as possible.  You need to understand everything a man does is based on his appeal to the opposite sex. See not much has changed from what our ancestors did long ago. When they went out to hunt for food, the one who brought down the animal was hailed as a hero and therefore could end up choosing his prize for the night. Somehow, this twisted notion, still exist with some men. Nowadays men do it by driving the luxury car and dressing in designer clothes. It is a competitive world out there, and a man will do everything in order to make sure that he is noticed.

He has been hurt from his previous relationship. If a man was committed and his partner cheated on him, his perception of women will be damaged forever. We take infidelity very badly. Women are just tough-fibred than us. That’s why you can carry babies for nine months and give birth. A man would never last two months.

It is the only way to feel like a man. You mention you and your friends are independent, strong woman whose general needs are already met. Some men will look at you and think you don’t need them. In ‘Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man’,  author Steve Harvey says there are three ways a man shows you he loves you; this is by professing, providing and protecting. If he cannot do these, he might become disgruntled and vent out his frustration by cheating. It is wrong, I know, but that’s how some men process things.

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