Top 10 weirdest parenting products

23 April 2014

A toy car or doll for your child? No. Read on to see what weird products people buy for or in celebration of their children. Are they interesting or just weird? You decide.

A toy car or doll for your child? No. Read on to see what weird products people buy for or in celebration of their children. Are they interesting or just weird? You decide.

Pre-chewed pencils

If you can’t get your children to stop chewing their pens and pencils you might manage to discourage them with pencils someone else has already chewed. Pre-chewed pencils cost about $3 (R32,00) and have ready-made teeth-marks.

Afterbirth teddy bear

Definitely not for the squeamish. The placenta teddy bear is made of pieces of afterbirth, specially treated and dried. The price isn’t known but we suspect interested moms will have to pay a pretty penny for such a weird toy.

Tattoos for children

Many moms fear that their children will one day come home with their arms and backs covered in tattoos. But for moms who don’t mind tattoos there are “Tattoos for Babies”. They can be used to decorate babies with a variety tattoos, including prams, red roses and dummies. The tattoos aren’t permanent and sell for about $5 (R53).

Sonogram cuff links

Dads who want to wear their hearts on their sleeves can have photographs of their unborn babies immortalised on cuff links for just $65 (about R670,00).

The baby mop

Are you battling to find a balance between looking after your baby and doing the housework? Combine the two tasks with the baby mop. You dress your baby, who is still too young to crawl, in the one-piece suit and let him wriggle and slide around on the floor to his heart’s content. The bottom of the suit is equipped with the same fibres as a mop and should leave your floor clean and shiny. At $40 (R422), the mop is much more expensive than a conventional one.

Sound system for pregnant women

Many moms believe music is good for unborn babies. Pregnant moms who want to play music for their unborn babies can spend $130 (about R1 300) on the “Ritmo Advanced Pregnancy Sound System”. It can be attached to a mom’s stomach and plays music for her baby.

Pet rock

Is feeding your goldfish, vacuuming cat fur or walking the dog too much trouble for you? Yes? Then why not invest in a pet rock? This absurd toy is marketed as “the only pet you’ll never have to walk, feed or care for and which will never get lost”. The pet rock comes in a bag so you can carry it with you wherever you go. It costs $4 (R42). You might prefer to pick up one in your garden.

Thumb-sucking solution

Some children just can’t keep their fingers out of their mouths. That’s why designers have come up with the “FingerGuard”, a plastic cover that fastens around your child’s wrist and fingers. Also available is the “ThumbGuard”, for children who can’t stop sucking their thumbs. Both cost $70 (about R740).

The Tweet-when-he-kicks machine

Some people are so addicted to social media that even a pregnancy can’t divert their attention. If you’re struggling to balance your unborn baby and your love for Twitter, the “KickBee” is for you. The belt, which expectant moms fasten around their middle, picks up foetal movements and sends a Tweet saying, “Baby just kicked!” every time it feels a movement.

Dad’s turn to breastfeed?

If a dad wants to know what breastfeeding feels like he can fasten the “Nurse Me Tender” to his chest and let baby suckle. The experience will set you (or your husband) back $50 (about R530).

-Mieke Vlok

Sources: huffingtonpost.com, incrediblethings.com, parenting.com, babble.com, buzzfeed.com

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