Why are you still single?

By Drum Digital
08 September 2014

These tips are about those things you're doing, unaware, that could be blocking you from finding your person.

There is nothing being wrong with being single and this article is not about the unhealthy pursuit of a partner, regardless of how toxic the situation. This article is more about those people who are actively seeking a life partner and struggling to find them.

A large part of meeting your partner is allowing things to happen naturally, but there are things we can do and avoid doing to ensure we're attractive potential partners.

These tips are about those things you're doing, unaware, that could be blocking you from finding your person.

Your standards are unrealistic

You are expecting things of your partner that you are not able to offer yourself.

You compare him to your girlfriend’s husband or your pastor

Comparing your partner to people whose relationships you don't know very much about (that means everyone, really) is dangerous. Your friends, family and pastor only share what they want, that's a bad place to make comparisons from. Establish your own norms with your partner and focus on what works for you both.

You have not healed

Your current man is paying for your exes' mistakes and it's not fair on both of you.

Give yourself time to really move on from your past before dragging your current partner into it all.

You're looking in all the wrong places

Your husband may not be at church, he might be at your local grocery store or in your office park. Be open to chance-meetings.

Your expectations are too low

You don’t believe they’re any good men left, so you expect the worst and have your expectations met. You can't be disappointed because your expectations are met.

You're not as ready to not be single as you thought

You're not completely done living the single life. There's work to be put into a relationship that you aren't ready to yet. That's okay. Embrace this stage in your life.

You want to be married so bad you seem desperate

Relax! Coming on too strong is not attractive.

You’re looking for the wrong things

You’re looking for "what the man drives" as opposed to "what drives the man."

You skip past friendship

Every man you encounter, you’re interviewing as if he’s your husband. Just interview for friendship and nothing more.  Let things unfold naturally and gradually.

-BLACKLOVEFORUM

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