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15 (Fixable) reasons you are unhappy in your relationship

By Faeza
10 May 2016

Are you feeling disillusioned with your partner? Have you ever thought that it could be you - and your attitude - that is robbing you of the joy of a fulfilling relationship?

Here are 15 (fixable) reasons why you might be feeling unhappy with your relationship

1. You want perfection

When you want everything to be perfect, you will miss out on the beauty of love. Love is seen in the flaws, storms and struggles. Love is an opportunity to grow. Growth means the two still have areas to improve. Love is not for the perfect but those willing to grow.

2. You are letting third parties interfere

If you allow third parties to run and direct your love life you will struggle in your relationship/marriage. Don’t let your parents, siblings and friends micromanage you and your partner/spouse.

3. You want to copy others

As long as you want to be like other couples or compete with them, your love life will be empty. No fulfillment comes out of being a copycat.

4. You are a control freak

Wanting everything to go your way will make your partner/spouse tolerate you rather than celebrate you. It also will lead to frustration, as life has ups and downs. Don’t develop high blood pressure and become angry when things don’t go your way. Ride the curves and turns life brings. You don’t know everything.

5. You don't make time for fun and laughter

Many think that grown-up relationships mean you can't laugh, joke, have fun, play games or do silly stuff. Don’t be uptight. Gow old in a relationship full of laughter. Tease your spouse. Tickle each other. Watch comedies. Don’t take life too seriously.

6. You were brought up to think love is hard work

Love is actually simple: we are the ones who complicate it. The wrong attitude towards relationships and marriages will make love feel like a burden. When you do love right, your partner/spouse becomes the best friend you spend the whole of your life with, not the person you committed to but struggle to be with.

7. You are selfish

When you make the relationship/marriage to be just about you and your needs, it will become bitter. There is joy in giving. Give to your partner/spouse as he/she gives to you. Be mindful of each other.

8. You are hard to please

Are you a difficult person? Do you make it difficult for your partner to please you by being insensitive, condescending, judgemental, dismissive and constantly complaining? Even when good is done to you, do you still complain? Learn to appreciate your partner or you will drive your love down a cliff.

9. You still look back at the past

Are you in a relationship or married but you still look back at your ex or past life? You will confuse yourself and destroy the purity and intensity of your current relationship/marriage.

10. You are pretending

There are many who hide secrets from their partner/spouse. They hide who they truly are. They always want to show their good side. And so, they are not vulnerable. They hide their tears, battles and fears from their partner, thereby denying their partner/spouse an opportunity to be there for them.

Stop acting happy and in charge if deep down you are hurting, broken and lost. Open up to your partner so that you can be loved. Stop standing in the way of love by hiding your weaknesses. Relax. Be loved.

11. You are insecure

Insecurity will make you dethrone yourself even when your position in your partner/spouse’s life is not under threat. It will make you falsely accuse your partner for no reason, make you paranoid, make you jealous when you shouldn’t be and will give you sleepless nights. Don’t push your partner. Be secure in yourself. Develop healthy self-esteem.

12. You overthink

Some people always have to worry. Even when in a romantic setting or when making love, they are anxious and worried. Learn to keep calm. Don’t spoil the moment by intellectualising it.

13. You are too proud to say sorry

Pride keeps you from admitting you need help and from apologising. Pride will keep you from learning. When you humble yourself, you will experience the beauty of love and life.

14. You are distracted by other men

Paying romantic attention to or flirting with someone other than your partner will keep you from giving your best to your partner. Focus on the one you love.

15. You have a negative attitude towards the physical side of marriage

Some women have been raised to think of physical intimacy as something to be endured, only engaged in for reproduction, or even something dirty. Learn to enjoy the physical side of a committed, loving relationship in all its purity and joy.

Source: Capital Lifestyle