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Break up with dignity

By admin
02 August 2013

Find healthy ways to deal with your break-up, then move on.

A break-up can be an emotional roller-coaster. You could feel like doing many things to your ex to make him feel as much pain as he’s caused you. But before you start going wild, think about what your actions will do to you and your image afterwards.

Relationship Counsellor Nonzwakazi Nkayi says you must get back your self-confidence and move on with your life after a break-up. Here is her advice:

DON’T DAMAGE HIS PROPERTY

“Getting angry with him is one thing but damaging any of his things is a criminal act. Rather work off your anger at the gym,” says Nonzwakazi.

MOVE! TIP Take out your diary and write down your feelings of anger and hurt. If you don’t keep a diary, write yourself a long letter saying exactly what you feel. Then tear it up and throw it away.

DO LET HIM BE AND MOVE ON

If your ex has made up his mind and does not want to be with you any more, you cant force him to love you.

MOVE! TIP Spending too much time alone will just make you think of him. Keep yourself busy with friends; you could even try a new hobby or course.

DON’T INVOLVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Leave his family alone. If you were close to them, don’t ruin the relationship by asking them all sorts of questions about his whereabouts.

MOVE! TIP Spend some time with your own family or do all those things you couldn’t because he didn’t like doing them.

DON’T HARASS HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND

If your ex has moved on with his life, don’t blame the new person he’s with.

MOVE! TIP You don’t have to like her, but if the two of you broke up before he met her, she didn’t stop him from loving you.

DO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO LOVE

“When you have found someone else to be with, you will stop focusing on your ex,” says Nonzwakazi.

After you’ve dealt with the break-up, move on and find someone else.

MOVE! TIP Don’t label all guys as bad after the way your ex treated you. Give new guys a chance to prove themselves to you.

DON’T BE SPITEFUL IF THERE IS A CHILD INVOLVED

If the two of you have a child, don’t try to get back at your ex by using your child. He still has rights as a father.

MOVE! TIP Your child has the right to a relationship with both of you – even when you move on and find new partners.