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HELP: "My fiànce’s mother interferes in our relationship"

By Faeza
13 October 2016

Anonymous from Umlazi writes: 

My fiànce’s mother interferes

in our relationship. He’s paid

lobola but he still puts her first. She

asks things from my husband and he

will do them without telling me. When

I ask him, he says its his money and he

does not need my permission to do

things for his mother. He says he won’t

marry me legally unless she gives us

her blessings.

Sis Naledi answers: 

Your man seems to be very

attached to his mother. Their

relationship will be a problem

for anyone who wants to marry him.

Unfortunately it is not marriage

that will sort out this problem but

willingness on his side to manage his

mother. Discuss this with your family

as they are now involved through

lobola. Some boundaries need to be

set between the mother and your

marriage. If he does not show respect

for you and is defensive then you are

heading for a disaster.