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HELP: "My girlfriend doesn't want me to play with her punani"

By Faeza
21 October 2016

Anonymous from Turffontein writes:

I’m a 24-year-old man and my

girlfriend doesn’t want me

to put my finger in her private part

because she says it’s too sensitive.

She also doesn’t want us to have

oral sex. We only have two or three

rounds a night then she says it’s

enough. What’s the problem?

Dr Eve answers: 

Your girlfriend has a right to

refuse the kind of sex she

does not want, and thank you

for respecting this.

I well understand that the kind of

sex she allows feels limiting to you

and you are dissatisfied. It sounds

as if she is uncomfortable with her

own genitals. Perhaps she has never

explored her genitals alone.

She is responding to you like a

woman who does not enjoy being

sexual. Strike up a conversation

about sexuality with her, with no

criticism to her, but merely be

curious about her sexuality.