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I am HIV positive

By admin
25 October 2013

“I’m in love with a guy who is not HIV positive and who does not know that I am HIV positive. I can’t handle the thought of him rejecting me. The last time we had sexual intercourse we used a condom, but it broke and now he does not want to use condoms anymore. He said what is the use of using a condom if it’s going to break during the intercourse. My main worry is that I have infected him and he says he wants a baby with me. I know I have done something wrong by not disclosing my status to him. Please tell me how to suggest we must always use condoms.” – Thandi   Move! Expert advice

Stop beating up on yourself. Of course it is incredibly difficult to disclose your status to your man. You want to be loved; you have a right to be loved and to have sex with the person of your choice. There is a lot of ignorance about HIV and AIDS, so your fear of losing him and being stigmatised is very valid.

As part of being a sexually active person, you are responsible for your and your partner’s sexual health. This includes disclosing your status to him. Do not do this in the middle of a sex session. Rather invite him out for a walk or a meal. He has a right to know and make his own choices once he knows.

You have a right to be protected from your own guilt about non-disclosure and the right to engage in healthy, safer sexual play with a consenting and informed partner. Once you discuss this with him, invite him to go with you to a HIV/Aids clinic where both of you can ask questions and get correct information – and a bucket full of condoms.