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I feel stupid

By admin
04 November 2013

“I have suspected that my husband is having an affair and have tried to catch him with another woman to prove to myself that I am right. I received a hint from one of my neighbours, who told me I would be able to catch him if I went to a certain address at a particular time.

Well, I did that, and to my surprise I found my husband in a woman’s bedroom and they were very comfortable with each other. What makes me angry is that he still denies it. He is taking me for a fool and, worse of all, I feel stupid because all the time I have believed him when he said he loves only me. I feel betrayed and angry. I cannot stand my husband anymore. What should I do and where will I go if I leave him?” – Phumla

Dear Phumla

I really do sympathise with you for the pain that your husband has caused you. Now that you have proved that he is having an affair, it is going to be very difficult for you to trust and love him again. I understand how hurtful it is for someone to deny what you have seen. He has made a fool of you. These days, we cannot afford men who sleep around because of the risks of HIV/Aids infection. It is rife and getting worse by the day.  If you feel very strongly that you hate him, this marriage won’t work.

Marriage is a two-way street – a husband also has responsibilities in the marriage. In most cases, once he has started with extramarital affairs, there is no way that he will stop overnight.  It is a pity that it is usually us women who need to market ourselves every now and then, because there is a lot of temptation out there, especially from young ladies who are often the same age as our daughters and to whom men are easily attracted.  Sit down and do some introspection. The choice is yours: you have every right to leave him and move on with your life. This is your life and your happiness comes first.