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Is it possible for me, to find a partner who is HIV positive?

By admin
21 December 2013

“After I was diagnosed HIV positive in 1998, I lost my appetite for sex and relationships. But recently I started envying people who are in relationships. Right now I am desperate to be in a relationship, not only for sex but also for somebody who understands my situation. I can’t take a risk with just any man because I will eventually have to disclose. I would prefer an HIV person because we will “speak the same language”. It has been a long time since somebody touched me and kissed me. Is it possible for me, at the age of 43 years, to find a partner who is HIV positive?” -- Caroline, Empangeni

Dr Eve says

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I love your letter because it shows that, despite being HIV positive, you are a woman who requires the same as every person who is infected and well, which is love and touch and, of course, great sexual fun too! It is so difficult for HIV positive people to admit this because of the stigma still attached to this disease. You talk about one of the most common reasons why HIV positive people stop being sexual. They don’t have a partner and this is mostly because of the fear of disclosure. I suggest you go for counselling on how to disclose to a partner. Even if you find an HIV positive partner, you need to learn how to speak more comfortably about your illness. It would also be good for you to learn about safer sex practices and, of course, get a handful of condoms. As you know, condoms are always required even between two HIV positive people. I suggest you look at the website dating service for HIV positive people at www.thepositiveconnection.co.za