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Must I rather move on

By admin
15 December 2013

“I got divorced after five years of marriage. I have not been able to date anybody because my ex-husband was my first boyfriend and I really loved him. He came back to me and I accepted him, however, he told me that he will only see me at weekends. And I accepted the offer. He sometimes comes home at weekends and does not give me any attention, not even sexually. I just feel confused. Must I rather move on and find a partner who will be full time?” – Yoliswa, Durban

Dr Eve says

It is so difficult to let go of a marriage or significant relationship even if we have been hurt or disappointed. More especially for you as this was your first love. So you, like many people (especially women) keep the relationship going under any circumstances, because it feels too painful and scary to be free of this person completely.  You know what you need to do. You know you are compromising yourself. You know you need to kick his sorry butt out the door and keep that door tightly shut because he will come knocking back on it.  Then you give yourself time to heal, to grieve, to cry, get angry, and get confident, sassy and sexy. I hope you realise that you need never divide yourself up. He takes all of you all of the time, or none of you is available some of the time.