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My boyfriend is a player

By admin
12 October 2013

“At the beginning of this month, I had a sex with my boyfriend and he convinced me to have sex without using condoms. Now I feel I’m at high risk of being HIV positive since my boyfriend is a player. I’m scared that I am pregnant and will have an HIV child. I am scared. Please help.” – Noluthando   Move! Expert advice

I wish I could have you and all the other women in our country, in my professional care for a few months. I would teach you how to value yourselves as women, how to respect and honour yourself. I would teach you how to choose boyfriends, men who respect and honour women, men who love one woman at a time and not all together. I would make you believe that you are deserving of such a man. I would give you lessons in saying NO so that no matter how much “convincing” and threatening, you continue to say NO. I would teach you about contraception and always carrying condoms so you are an independent woman and never feel afraid that you are pregnant or HIV positive.

But we need to be practical about you right now. It is too late for the emergency contraception, so go for a pregnancy test and also for HIV counselling and a test. Your family planning clinic will help you with all these tests. Do it as soon as possible.

In the meantime, please do have penetration sex with your player boyfriend. Every time you do there is a chance you will be inflected or re-infected and, if you’re not already pregnant, you are at risk of becoming pregnant.