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Pornography is a problem

By admin
11 November 2013

“My boyfriend and his friends look at pornography magazines. I also suspect that they watch blue movies when they are together. My problem is that when he makes love to me, I think he is thinking about the girls he sees in the porn magazines. I say this because I feel there is no connection between us. He will only come to me when he needs sex. I have asked him to stop his bad habits, however, he ignores me. I cannot go on like this because I feel disrespected. I need a solution to my problems.” – Zama

Dr Eve says

Go, girl! If your feelings are ignored, if he continues to make you feel disrespected, then it is time to take action.  This is not about pornography. Please do not blame pornography on a disrespectful boyfriend. They are different issues. Your man can watch porn as long as he does not make you feel used or make you feel as if you are not as pretty or sexy as the porn stars. You have the right to feel offended if he makes love to you only after watching porn. And indeed you have a right to feel offended that he only seeks you out for sex, and that sex that has no connection. Oh no, girl. Let him know how unhappy and angry you feel rather than criticise him. Then make requests for what you would prefer in your relationship. He also has a right to make requests. If he is unable to meet your requests and you can’t meet his, it is time for you to work out what value there is in you staying in this relationship.