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What to do when your man disappears during long weekends

By Faeza
12 April 2017

Anonymous from the North West writes:

I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years, and for the first three years everything

was fine. However, last year he did something totally unexpected. He started disappearing every long weekend and would come back without any money and pretended as if nothing had happened. When I confronted him about his behaviour, he said he was sorry and it would never happen again. I forgave him because I love him. Now I’m scared that he is going to do it again and I don’t know how to prevent it from happening.

Move Expert responds: 

Jennifer Papers, a counselling social worker at The Family Life Centre in Johannesburg, says, “It is unfortunate that the man you love leaves you alone during a time you should be spending with family and loved ones. However, you do not have control of his behaviour and cannot stop him from leaving. If he values your love and concerns, he will stay and spend the holidays with you. If not, it might be time for you to sit down with him and re-evaluate your relationship. You need to speak with him about your fears and find out what his plans for the long weekends are rather than anxiously waiting for him to make a move. Let him know that you will not except or tolerate such behaviour. Make sure you make alternative plans with family and friends to avoid being lonely should your man decide to leave. Remember, people treat us the way we allow them to.”