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Your role as a woman

By Faeza
28 June 2016

Gone are the days when men were the only people expected to go to work and bring home the bacon, while women were confined to the kitchen where they were expected to cook up a feast for their families and make sure that the house was always clean. The line between what is expected of men and women is now blurred as society moves more towards political advancement, growing economy, better technology and education.

WORK LIKE A MAN

More women are receiving an education and feeling a need to be independent. Living expenses also no longer allow one to be without any form of income. Food prices are always on a hike and the price of petrol is enough to shock anybody with a car, so it makes no sense to sit at home doing nothing while your children starve.

The reality is that as a woman and a mother, it is in your best interest and that of your children to have a job – unless, of course, you have a rich husband who can cater for all your needs.

The days when women took care of the household and men provided for the family are fast becoming history. Nowadays women are employed and help their partners to put food on the table and take children to school.

COOK FOR YOUR FAMILY

While cooking has also been regarded as an activity designed for women, the belief has started to change in society, with people not finding it surprising to find a man slaving on the stove every now and then while the woman relaxes after a long day at work.

Despite the belief changing, it is still important for a woman to cook and clean for her family and her husband.

So making an effort to take care of the household when you can is still crucial for a modernday woman regardless of how much you earn.

HAVE TIME WITH THE KIDS

According to Rustenburg-based psychologist Moloko Modupe, kids thrive from receiving enough attention from their parents. “Every emotionally healthy child demands attention.

The need for attention is a basic component of their survival instinct,” she says. She adds that as a mother, regardless of working, your children should be a priority and making time for them should be seen as important.

“The main objective of being a parent, despite being a modern working mom, is supplying the attention that children must have to form their own sense of identity and build their self-esteem,” she advises. She says when children don’t receive the attention they need, they often misbehave.

MONITOR THE HELPER

At the end of the day, you are the mother and the woman of the house. Don’t confuse matters and rely on the helper to do everything in your house. “The helper is there to help you and not replace you as a mother and a wife,” she says.

“You still need to make sure that your children are happy, well-fed and have done their homework. You should also make sure that your husband’s clothes have been washed and ironed, and that he has lunch for work.”

Moloko adds that although it is the helper’s job to clean, wash clothes and iron, a responsible woman will monitor that these get done satisfactory.

She, however, says you shouldn’t hesitate to ask for help from your partner and your grown children when you are overwhelmed as a home cannot be built by one person.

SPEND TIME WITH YOUR MAN

Quality time ensures that you and your man remain connected and comfortable with each other. A lack of quality time can drive you apart and destroy your relationship.

Moloko advises that despite being a modern-day woman who has a career and a busy schedule, make time for your partner.

“Every little moment counts. Take a few minutes of your time each day before rushing to work to ask your partner what he has planned for the day as this will show him that you have interest in his work.

Send him a text massage in between your meetings during the day to let him know that you are thinking about him.

And after putting the kids to sleep at night, dedicate a few minutes of your time to show him how much you appreciate him,” she says.

DON’T BE A SLAVE

Moloko advises that women shouldn’t try to do everything on their own but ask for help from their partners and their children.

She says it’s important to know where your abilities end and to divide the household chores accordingly to limit straining yourself.

“Let your partner take out the rubbish bin, help you with cooking when he can or put the children to sleep. Children who are old enough should also help with cleaning,” she says.