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Irukandji
 
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A Nation of Superstitious Criminals

04 July 2014, 07:23

So, ANC MP Lindiwe Maseko wants the SABC to broadcast the national anthem twice a day to foster patriotism. According to her, listening to the anthem is supposed to strengthen social cohesion and moral regeneration. Dream on, Lindiwe!

Next, she will probably want me to sing Nkosi Sukkel in Afrika. Over my dead body! I shall never sing this idiotic song. And I’ll tell you why:

Most of the pee pull in this godforsaken country – the Arse of Africa (RSA) – believe in sangomas, traditional muti, and the Tokkeloshe. The strikers at Marikana have clearly demonstrated this belief. And yet, they ask Nkosi (God) to bless their Dark Continent. How dumb is that? Shouldn’t they be singing: Tokkeloshe Sikelel’ iAfrika, instead?

And another thing: How can you expect any respectable atheist to sing this song? Atheists believe in nothing; therefore, they should sing: Nothing Sukkels in Afrika. Which would be a lie – everything sukkels in Africa – as we well know.

As to Maseko’s claim that listening to the anthem would strengthen social cohesion and moral regeneration, the following:

I have NO desire to strengthen my social cohesion with any of the 62% fools and poephols who voted the corrupt ANC into power. Again. Or with the EFF suppotas. Or with the thousand of strikers, rioters, looters, rapists, robbers, murderers, politicians and other criminals, who live in this country. Thank you very much!

As to the moral regeneration: I have news for you, Lindiwe! Do you realise that your boss; and our National Embarrassment, Zuma, was once the Chairman of the Moral Regeneration Movement? Are you implying that the King of Nkandla failed in his mission as leader of the MRM?

Besides, I have never had any problems with my morals. I have no need for regeneration.

There are thousands of examples, but I’ll give you just one. Tell me, Lindiwe; how listening to Nkosi Sukkel in Afrika is going to strengthen the social cohesion and moral regeneration of the pee pull in the following story:

Whopping R20m annual Metrobus loss, The Star

Johannesburg – Metrobus is losing almost R20 million a year (OK, Sakkie, I know this is peanuts compared to what Showerhead has stolen from the taxpayers), some of it due to cash-fare pilferage.

At least R42 000 a day was lost due to theft of cash-fare and not one criminal charge was laid against those responsible.

A Metrobus’ spokesperson (read: Spin-doctor) said that a “blitz” programme has been instituted to increase visibility of inspectors on buses during peak periods to ensure cash revenue is protected.

(You see, Sakkie, “inspectors” are scrupulously honest – they never take bribes, steal money, or break the law during peak periods.)

The spokesperson said: “We have various other revenue enhancement measured to curb pilferage and to prevent the third harmonic from coming into resonance with the fundamental frequency. This process will be adding another antinode and node to each consecutive harmonic in order to determine the pattern and the resulting length-wavelength relationship will be continued. Blah, blah, yadda, yadda.”

“And,” she continued, “All of our wekkas will be required to listen to the SABC twice a day, at 6:00 and again at 12:00, when they broadcast the national anthem.”

Meanwhile, back at the ranch:

·         In Pretoria, since April, there have been more than 450 incidents of cable theft and tampering with electricity sub-stations which cost the city an additional R20m.

·         Last week saw the end of a five-month strike in the platinum sector. It’s been reported that the striking mine workers lost about R10.6 million and the platinum industry lost R24 billion in revenue.

·         Wolmaransstad: The catastrophe of a collapsed municipality – this town’s administration is in such chaos and disarray that it cannot even provide water to its citizens.

·         Protesters blocked the Sofasonke and Klipspruit Valley intersection in Orlando East, Soweto, with rocks and tyres on Thursday, Johannesburg metro police said.

·         Bank employee steals from man, 84. Polokwane – A bank employee used an elderly man’s bank card to withdraw money without his consent.

·         Mr. X, testifying at the commission in Pretoria, claims he was part of a group of striking Lonmin mineworkers at Marikana who underwent traditional rituals, and also participated in the killing of Lonmin security guards, Hassan Fundi and Frans Mabelani. He has detailed in an affidavit how flesh was cut from Fundi’s face, how sangomas cut this into smaller pieces, mixed it with blood, and burnt it to ashes.“We were instructed by the inyangas to stand in a line and the ashes were put in our mouths using a spoon which we licked and swallowed,” Mr. X wrote in his affidavit.

·         Johannesburg – Residents of Orlando East, Soweto allegedly damaged 22 cars at Eskom’s Soweto depot, police said on Thursday. Warrant Officer Kay Makhubela said 15 were set alight and seven damaged on Wednesday night. No arrests were made but investigations were under way. “It is suspected that residents from the nearby Nancefield hostel did this overnight. They say they don't have electricity,” Makhubela said.

·         And on.

·         And on, and on...

OK, Sakkie, I give up. All together now! Ah-one, and ah-two, and ah-three!

“Tokkeloshe Sikelel’ iAfrika, tra la, tra la, tra la la la!

Give us social cohesion and moral regeneration, my bra!”

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