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James Francis
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A Royal Party

07 January 2013, 14:59
Like much of the world, I was deeply disappointed with Prince Harry. In case you missed it, the other other crown prince of the British throne was caught cavorting with a blonde in his Las Vegas hotel room, both not wearing anything other than Harry’s dog tags. It was truly scandalous. Really, Harry? You are in Vegas and you only have ONE naked woman in your suite? What kind of a prince is that?

This was, of course, a bit of a crisis. Harry was third-in-line for the throne - fourth if you count the inevitable referendum that would instate Kate as the Queen. That is a lot of pressure, as anyone who has had two people ahead of them for a promotion must know. It’s not a done deal, the second guy will probably look better on paper and yet you cannot afford to take that foot off the pedal. Not unless you want your royal career down the drain. All that is irrelevant now - Kate’s bun in the oven means Harry is off the list. But back then he was still a contender.

Harry’s worked hard for it: he’s spent at least 27 - almost 28 years - of his life being groomed for the moment when Charles, William and Kate die in a paparazzi scrum. To throw it all away for some Vegas tail... well, who wouldn’t? It’s Vegas!

Speaking of which, why is nobody taking that city to task for this? What happened to its slogan of what happens there stays there? If I was the king of the strip, I’d be on the phone to tell TMZ - the site that posted photos of a naked Harry covering his privates - that it has breached the code of the town and was summarily banned.

And we are missing the really big picture here. The British Royals are doing a fantastic job distracting us from the current toilet-flushing routine the world is locked in. Are the Arabs protesting? Here’s a royal wedding! Putin steals the Russian throne? The Queen’s got a jubilee! Syria’s killing its population? It’s London Olympics time! That was certainly a royal gift: I’m pretty sure the Queen is the Lessee for London and informs the neighbors when a big party is planned. And when the world absorbed comments about rape, abortion, jailed punk bands and another petrol price hike, Harry flashed the goods. Good man.
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