Good morning and here is the news brought to you by Angel News Network .
Telling you the truth as it should be .
Late last night a group of young men where struck down in cold blood by the Archangel Gabriel himself
The only witness and survivor, one Anene Booysen was severely traumatized by seeing this act and in an interview with ANN said and we quote “ I could not believe it , Gabriel struck those innocent young men ,one of whom was a close friend of mine, down in cold blood”
ANN followed up this comment with the archangel and he claimed that God had foreseen that these young men were about to brutally rape and assault Anene and instructed him to intervene and issue the prescribed punishment.
Human rights activists led by the honorable mr L.U Cifer (Believed to one of his many aliases)
Claims that God acted prematurely in this regard and that He had no proof other than His “claimed”
Clairvoyance that these young men would have done anything wrong.
The parents and families of the young boys were devastated by this turn of events , stating that even if this accusation by God could have been true it may have been better to rather take away their freedom of choice and turn them into , mindless “Godbots” instead of sending them straight off to hell.
In other parts of the world carnage continued as the angels of the Lord went about dealing justice to would be offenders , as it is in heaven so it must now be on earth , people have started hiding away and cowering in their houses too afraid to go outside and interact , risking sin and invoking immediate retribution from the angels .
Closer to home several people were found dead infront of their pc’s this morning and upon inquiry
APD ( Angel Police Department ) have stated that these people were about to commit blasphemy
a crime ranking higher than high treason and punishable by death .
The council of Churches has applauded this decision by the APD stating that freedom of expression does not give you the right to insult your own creator (however ANN has discovered that certain members of the church council fears that any form of disagreement with this matter might be seen as blasphemy itself and are therefore to afraid to question whether these people were actually going to commit this heinous sin,
The Vatican last week found itself under investigation for enriching itself at the cost of believers and all of their assets were confiscated. As well as many of their priests condemned to hell for sodomy .
This has lead to an even weaker turn out of candidates for priesthood with many people stating that
Priests get little salary yet runs the risk of stricter punishment because they work for a department where all employees are expected to be perfect in every way and no second chances or forgiveness be tolerated.
This weeks statistics from the justice department , shows that 75,000 men and women were executed for crimes concerning adultery before the act (the department of God has ensured us that these people would have commited this sin and there was no point in giving them the benefit of the doubt )
500 000 people were executed and sent to hell for various other crimes they were just about to commit.
It now turns out that many people on earth live in fear of God not knowing what might happen to them if any thought of sin may enter their minds.
Elsewhere Jesus , who believes in forgiveness and turning the other cheek , was once again torn apart in a debate against the Committee of instant justice and self gratifying revenge .
Upon his reference to His own selfless act upon the cross to save sinners and potential sinners alike
The Committee stated that suffering at the hands of another cannot be allowed , and that no offender of any crime could ever show enough remorse and turn his or her life around , benefit of doubt in this regard is complete nonsense and a waste of believers faith in their fellow man.
The supreme high court has stated that redemption will no longer be given to just any person who shows remorse at some stage of their lives but only to those who show remorse instantly after the sin.
Therefore the man who was forgiven by Christ on the cross will now have his redemption revoked and he will be sent straight to hell along with 99.9% of humanity.
Late yesterday ,Mr L.U Cifer along with the sinners union has won the first of what he promised to be many cases , overturning the ten commandments , sparking outrage and rumors of civil war planned by the angels against followers of Mr Cifer .
Mr Cifer pointed to gay rights saying “If it is no longer a sin to be gay then it is high time that it no longer be a sin , to have adultery , murder when you feel like it and have a little incest now and then , lets not even mention the lesser sins and the various combinations thereof .
Mr Cifer pointed out that he foresees a society where whole groups of multiple men and women can be married and all children born into those groups could enjoy incest with their various mothers and fathers
Upon a certain Mr Swart pointing out that this is sick , he was instantly branded a bigot and troublemaker.