Anyone today who dares to follow politics in this post election South Africa will know, this is the day of the swearing in ceremony for our elected representatives in parliament. In this light, YESYA productions went behind the scenes to interview at least three of the majour figures in South African politics. We started our first interview with so called firebrand pariah, turned political parasite, turned political freedom fighter with a thousand dollar suit, Mr Julius Malema.
Yesya – Julius. How would you help the poor people to gain economic emancipation?
Julius – We are not here for fancy words like emancipation, we are economic freedom fighters, and we are here to make sure that every white man gives their hard earned cash to black people. This is because we see a South Africa where you can be economically prosperous, only if you are black. Our slogan is for equal opportunity only for black people. But we want the 10 million mostly white tourists to continue coming to holiday here, so we can take the wallets for the black people. We want more loans from the white nations in Europe so we can free only our black people from economic hardship. As I always say, all black people are created equally, from some Julius people are more equal than others in these animal farm we call Africa. And by the way, how do you like my new 700 rand shoes for toy-toying in parliament so overseas investors can hear what I think before they invest in our country.
Yesya – thank you Julius, nice shoes, but now for Mrs. Helen Ziller from the DA. How will you focus on winning more black votes so that you can look more legitimate in black Africa while firing black politicians like Lindewe Sisulu
Helen – well, we in South Africa have decided not to look at colour and that is why we calculate that so many people of colour voted for us. This is after we complained bitterly about the ANC policies, their homesteads, their corruption and expensive shoes at the expense of the mainly black people in this our colourblind South Africa.
Yesya – er ya, but what will you do in the next five year that…
Helen – And furthermore, I’d like to say we must focus on all that is wrong with the ruling party, so that we come out smelling like roses. We believe we won most of the black votes after the ruling party because people love our policies, our community work and not because they were frustrated with the ruling party. We did it all, there was no mismanagement from the ANC who helps us gain such a large increase in black votes because our party is not focused on colour, like the other parties are.
Yesya – Ok. so its no colour only black and white politics from now on. How about the leader the ruling party and out president Mr. Zuma, what would you to make this a better life for all.
Zuma - Er ya. In keeping with the ANC mantra of a better life for all in 1994, we improved on that with a better life for all…ANC members in 1999, and then we carried that to a better life for all ANC members who are black in 2004. After these, we decided that our motto of a better life for all ANC members who are black and their tendtrepeneur brothers is more fitting for us in 2009. But now in these new generation, we as the dominant Zulu party, decided that these liberation slogan must be a better life for all black Zulu ANC members and their tentrepenuer brother who are willing to give me cash loans under the table…as usual.
Yesya - But Mr. president the questions was how will you improve the country not your party.
Oh yes, for the country to improve, their leadership must be happy, that is why I will be getting married 25 more times and I will need a bigger Nkandla for myself and my family. This way, I can focus on my Zulu household while the gravy train goes forward. Oops, I mean progress for our new ANC slogan goes forward. Long live South Africa, long live the ANC, long live the gravy train that is South Africa. Amandla!