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Atheitis
 
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A quick Bible quiz: Noah

22 April 2014, 12:16

I have been flooded with requests for another Quick Bible Quiz but before I do that I would like to make a special award to Saffa in East Asia who submitted this knowledgeable response to my first QBQ - http://www.news24.com/MyNews24/A-Quick-Bible-Quiz-20140407


Anyway, you can deny as much as you like but to those of us who have a relationship with God and have experience his miracles and what he has done for us will not be swayed.”


Congratulations Saffa for resolving the contradictions I highlighted in Genesis I.


The rules for today's quiz are the same as before:


- Select only one answer choice from a list of five choices.

- Anyone may answer the questions irrespective of their religious affiliations or mental state.

- All answers must be supported by an explanation for your interpretation. Only answers using the “proper context™” are admissible.

- Do not try to give all 40000 different answers and explanations to each question.

- Cheating is permitted and you may freely copy and paste your explanations from religious or other web sites.

- The default answer to any unanswered question is e).


Most will be familiar with Noah and the world-wide flooding of the planet and I am sure that Christians will be able to help us all get a better idea of the feats performed by this 600 year old man.


Question #1: Where did all the timber come from?


Genesis 6:14-16 indicates that Noah's ark was approximately 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high (assuming a cubit of 18 inches), which is about as big as the Titanic and was made out of gopher wood. HMS Victory, the ship of the line preserved at Portsmouth, is 226.5 feet long and approximately 6,000 oak trees were used to make the Victory. So what is gopher wood and where did Noah get it from?


a) – There are lots of gopher trees in the Middle East but you can't see them because they live and grow underground like gophers.


b) – The Sahara was once covered with gopher trees but they became extinct when Noah cut them all down which is why the Sahara is now a desert.


c) – Noah had an account at Creator's Warehouse who supplied the timber, nails and window frame.


d) – In the old days there were lots of Cannabis sativa trees. Noah found out that smoking the foliage induced incredible fantasies and it was all a wet dream.


e) - I am confused. I don't know. I don't want to know. I believe anyway. God works in mysterious ways.



Question #2: Where did all the water come from?


How could the entire planet be flooded to the top of Mount Everest given the total amount of available water – http://www.subjunctive.net/klog/2009/01/all_the_worlds_water/


a) – This is a stupid question because the Bible tells us the World was a flat circle standing on pillars so it would only require a couple of metres depth to flood the entire planet and drown everything..


b) – The link is a lie by atheist scientists as everyone knows the Earth is hollow and filled with lots and lots of water.


c) – Mount Everest was created by God after the flood.


d) – The flood myth in the Bible was taken from the Mesopotamian flood story found in a 700 BCE Babylonian copy of the Epic of Gilgamesh.


e) - I am confused. I don't know. I don't want to know. I believe anyway. God works in mysterious ways.


Question #3: How many animals were in the Ark?


In Genesis 6, God tells Noah, "You are to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, to keep them alive with you. Two of every kind of bird, of every kind of animal and of every kind of creature that moves along the ground will come to you to be kept alive."


In the next chapter, Genesis 7, God directly contradicts himself and tells Noah, "Take with you seven of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and two of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate, and also seven of every kind of bird, male and female, to keep their various kinds alive throughout the earth."


a) – The three most speciose families of woodboring beetles - longhorn beetles, bark beetles and weevils, and metallic flat-headed borers. - ate the Ark before Noah could complete his task.


b) – The clean animals refused to enter the Ark when they saw the huge and ever increasing mounds of elephant, rhino and tyrannosaurus crap on the floor.


c) – This is just another atheist trick question. The Bible is the inerrant word of God and you don't understand the context.


d) – This is an adult forum and not a place to explain infantile stories.


e) - I am confused. I don't know. I don't want to know. I believe anyway. God works in mysterious ways.




Question #4: How did the Antarctic Penguins and the Australian kangaroos get to the Ark and return home after the flood?


a) – Quantum physics and thermodynamics.


b) – Divine Quantas.


c) – Continental drift.


d) – The angels took them home. I also believe a man can live for 950 years.


e) - I am confused. I don't know. I don't want to know. I believe anyway. God works in mysterious ways.



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