PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 16
Article views: 506
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

A tale of two books

10 July 2014, 12:02

Before the days of apps and political platforms and portals and power shedding and GPS and the Internet and sheet... people used to read books.

I have literally read thousands of books – good, bad, mediocre, well-done, medium and rare. Only two books have made a lasting impression on me: The Bible and Animal Farm. Let me tell you about them.

First, The Bible. I liked this book; if for no other reason, than the hundreds of examples that illustrate our human nature. The murderer, the rapist, the thief, the beggar, the corrupt politician, the adulterer, the drunk, the peacemaker, the whore, the soldier, the fool – it’s all in there.

Be it Eve – frolicked in the garden with someone’s snake – or her son Abel, who died from alcohol poisoning after drinking too much Cane.

Or Abraham, who, like most men, liked to braai. (Although he scared the sheet out of his son, Isaac, when he invited him to a braai – as the main course on the menu.)

And then there was Moses, a small-time magician and erstwhile alcoholic, who was found motherless in The Reeds. According Egyptian hieroglyphs, he was the first to use the saying: “Let my people go! Or I smite thee with the eleventh plague: The corrupt ANC government!”

Or Noah. The moment the HMS Ark sailed into the port of Ararat, he planted a vineyard, made wine, got horribly drunk and stark naked, and passed out in his tent – much to the embarrassment of his three sons: Moe, Curly, and Larry.

Or King David. He coveted Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah Heep. So what did he do? He sent Uriah to the forefront of the hottest battle; there to be smitten and killed, until he died from it. And then he went and did that dastardly, biblical, begat thing, with Bathsheba. (Unconfirmed reports have it, that David stole Uriah’s Fender Stratocaster and whacked a local Philistine, Goliath, over the head – thus killing him until he was completely smitten.)

Or King Solomon, who had seven hundred wives, and three hundred concubines, and thousands of offspring – just like our own beloved King of Nkandla, aka Showerhead the First.

Or Ezekiel. Although he had a minor hit with the song: “I’ll Never Smoke Weed with Willie Again,” Ezekiel remained heavily addicted to *aapgras. He later published his Book of the Holy Aapgras – in which he described some of his most memorable pipe dreams – going into great detail about his encounter of a Third Kind with the Cherubim from Mars.

Before he died, Ezekiel wrote: “I’ll Never Smoke Weed with Cherubim Again.” Unfortunately, this song was poorly received by his fans.

Or Rumpeelay. The saddle-blanketed, wanna-BEE politician, who became the shortest-lived flash-in-the-pan in history. While Rumpeelay was still trying to build a platform, her train had left the station. Her saddle-blanket was later used as a prop in the film Raiders of the Lost Ark. (OK. Maybe the story of Rumpeelay is not in the Bible – but it should have been. It certainly contains enough sheet to fertilize all the lands in the lower Nile Delta.)

But I’m sure you’re all familiar with these biblical stories – especially the atheists who can quote text and verse along with the best of the Flock of Lost Sheeple.

Secondly, there’s Animal Farmthe True Story of the Rainbow Nation. This book should be compulsory reading for everyone living here in the Ar-se of Africa (RSA). Unfortunately, with the 30% pass mark in our schools, and the quality of our teechas, most of the pee pull cannot read. Or write. Or read and write. Or think.

I was going to include a short summary of Animal Farm, but thought it unnecessary – those who can read, have most probably read the book – those who can’t read, never will.

Suffice to say that Animal Farm describes the events leading up to 1994 and the subsequent years, in exact detail, as it happened here in the Ar-se of A.

One of the threads, which run through the story like our polluted rivers, is the threat that Jones, the original farm owner, would come back. The ruling pigs keep telling the dumb animals (mindless masses) this lie in order for them to stay in power. The sad thing is that the poor, uneducated creatures, believe them.

And so, the pigs remained in charge of Animal Farm – just like the ANC remain in charge of the Farm they call Azania.

But here our story takes a strange turn:

In real life, it wasn’t Jones who came back to take over the farm. It was a much bigger pig: Thandi Modise.

Modise allowed the pigs on her farm to die of hunger and thirst; subjected them to unbelievable suffering – driving the surviving pigs to cannibalism.

Now, the truly sad thing is that, instead of being banished into a fiery hell, Modise will get off scot-free – her fellow pigs in government are too busy feeding at the trough of the Gravy Train to notice her cruel, callous behaviour, or to admonish or prosecute her.

And so the suffering continues. Or as they say in IsiXhosa: Alooting Continues!

*aapgras – marijuana

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
16 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Markrschulz
News from the future!

The South African Rand will finally reach twenty to the Dollar, at which point the Reserve Bank will knock off three zeroes because "it looks better that way"... Read more...

5 comments 1509 views
Submitted by
Craig Pedersen
Can policing in SA be fixed? Read...

To my humble mind, here's what needs addressing within the policing/ criminal justice sphere - and no, you can't tackle one without the other, they're symbiotic in every sense.  Read more...

5 comments 210 views
Submitted by
SilverBack
Proof of God vs Faith in Christ...

Science is not inadequate to “prove” God’s existence, Science is inappropriate to do it. Read more...

85 comments 403 views
Submitted by
Voltaire Gee
More Questions for people of Fait...

I know my questions might seem condescending but they're really not, I really need to understand how anyone who lives in the 21st century can subscribe to a set of standards set thousands of years ago. Read more...

15 comments 191 views
Diving into the South African gra...

Government gets money and spends money in the same way an individual does.  Read more...

5 comments 903 views
Submitted by
Douw Snetler
Blue Bulls rugby - Yawn!

Being an ardent Blue Bull supporter, it was with quite a bit of trepidation that I watched the semifinal last Saturday between the Bulls and Western Province. Read more...

3 comments 762 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Save up to R1000 on Hisense smartphones!

View the large range of Hisense smartphones. Buy today and save up to R1000!

Deal of the week!

Save R1200 on the Samsung 48” smart full HD LED television now only R8799. Buy now!

Toys 4 for the price of 3

Buy 4 toys and get the cheapest FREE! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Mind blowing prices – As seen on TV

Get mind blowing prices on 1000’s of products! Shop now.

Save 20% on Nivea beauty products!

Buy any two Nivea beauty products and save 20%. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.