PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Tyronehster
 
Comments: 8
Article views: 3220
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Tyronehster's badges.
 

ANC Secret Meeting

28 January 2013, 16:00

The following is a transcript from a secret meeting between the ANC, represented by Gwede Mantashe, Cyril Ramaphosa and Trevor Manuel. They are meeting with their advertising agency, R Sole, R Screeper and Brow Knows.

Trevor Manuel: Gentlemen, this meeting is called to order!

Gwede Mantashe: Hey, wena! Who made you the boss?! I’m the boss of the ANC, I will say when the meeting starts!

Cyril Ramaphosa: Hey, hey, magents, this is supposed to be official government business. President Zuma said Trevor’s in charge.

Gwede Mantashe: And who do you think made Zuma president? I’m the boss here, and I’m the one who says when the meeting starts. Anyway, I look like Lenin, who was a great and revered leader, just like me.

Trevor Manuel: Okay, you’re the boss, you can call the meeting to order!

Gwede Mantashe: Good, we can begin. You people from the advertising know the problem we had with FNB and the miners at Marikana, and the people in Sasolburg who are rioting because they don’t know how good we are. We are a government that loves the people, and we want the people to know it, or they won’t vote for us again. Mr Sole, tell us your ideas.

R Sole: Well, looking at the FNB saga, we think we know what it is. They call themselves First National Bank, when everybody knows Standard Bank was the first bank in South Africa, so we will call them liars and say they are corrupt.

Cyril Ramaphosa: I don’t know, magents, I don’t know. They attacked us by saying we don’t deliver. See how much building materials we’ve delivered to Nakhandla  in such a short time. We must find something else.

R Screeper: Another idea we had was that the whites stole the idea of banking from the blacks, you know, like the stokvel, but then they corrupted it by charging interest?

Gwede Mandtashe: I like the sound of that. The Apartheid Regime stole the ideas from the blacks, then said it was their own. That’s why we must nationalise the banks, because it was our idea in the first place!

Cyril Ramaphosa: Eh eh, Gwede, eh eh! In Europe they had banks for hundreds of years, even before they came to Africa.

Brow Knows: If I could interject here? How about we say that Egypt had the first banks, and Egypt is part of Africa, and the Europeans stole that idea from Egypt?

Gwede Mantashe: That is brilliant! Do you think we can get Julius to go on the streets and say that to all the people, then we’ll tell him we’ll drop all charges and SARS will leave him alone? If he says it, the people in the townships will believe it.

Trevor Manuel: What about Marikana?

Gwede Mantashe: That’s easy! We say it’s a Third Force, trying to destabilise Comrade Cyril’s good relationship with his mineworkers, who are like family to him!

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
8 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Godless Heathen
Prayer works if you speak to the ...

So I have been working hard, but cashflow is a little screwy. I decided to test prayer and see what happens. The first thing I did was make a list of God's to speak to. Read more...

40 comments 990 views
Submitted by
Thulane Che Trosky
Zuma’s silence is the proof…

Zuma sets the highest standards for unaccountability in his administration. The spy tapes set the tone.  Read more...

4 comments 631 views
Submitted by
Helgavan
5 Banting principles even the cri...

But there are (at least) 5 things which every eater can employ, that even the biggest critics of Banting cannot argue with. Read more...

2 comments 443 views
Submitted by
Thulane Bolsheviks
The ANC’s power losses to be disc...

One of the greatest challenges that the ANC is facing on a daily basis and characterises it at the moment is corruption, greed and self-interest. Read more...

10 comments 781 views
Submitted by
Thulane Bolsheviks
The Aurora Directors finally to e...

The days of the Aurora Empowerment Directors are numbered. Read more...

1 comments 300 views
Submitted by
Maruping Phepheng
The president caused the chaos

Contrary to some who feel that the conduct of EFF parliamentarians was wrong when they launched the now famous #bringbackourmoney onslaught, I think not. Read more...

32 comments 1321 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Up to 40% off fashion accessories

Save up to 40% on selected handbags, purses, watches, jewellery and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Save up to R2000 on top electronics

Get every day mind bowing savings on top electronics. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

As seen on TV - New book releases at only R199 each

Get mind blowing book savings on new titles. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Save up to 50% on Women’s month treats!

Celebrate the awesome women in your life with awesome treats like beauty products, fashion accessories, bestselling books, electronics and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 60% off - clearance sale!

Save up to 60% on appliances, books, electronics, toys, movies and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.