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ANC achievements

27 September 2012, 07:18

I note that “Princess” Sisulu has just now discovered that some civil servants find it acceptable to catch 40 winks on the job, assault others – no doubt those with differing political or sporting views – and even steal and engage in illegal and questionable activities.

No doubt some of these activities are linked to tenders, employing relatives and taking wives and families on overseas “fact-finding” trips, and to Disneyland, but let’s not go there right now, shall we?

She neglects of course to mention those of higher rank – like cabinet ministers, national and local ANC politicians, city managers and of course those shadowy members of the ANC’s national executive – but then one can only assume she was dealing merely with the serfs and not royalty who naturally cannot be mentioned in the same report, or in any report for that matter. Also, empowering friends and family in the upper echelons can hardly be called crime, rather an oversight. Hence these illustrious people shall remain shadowy but nevertheless important cogs in the machinery of state. Again, let’s not go there.

Suffice to say that she’s just discovered what we all know and I wonder how long it’ll take her to also discover that virtually none of them can perform the task(s) they’re being paid for, or even understand what they’re supposed to be doing.

This, I assume, will only be discovered when she doesn’t get paid, or has her luxury vehicle(s) repossessed – or maybe at Manguang if she suddenly, in a moment of madness, goes all patriotic on us and votes for somebody else besides the big cheese. Time will tell but I do wish her success in her search for attainment, or whatever it is that she does.

Meanwhile, I’d like to join the growing ranks of people keen to point out some of the successes achieved by the ANC over the past 18 years, this in an effort to gainsay all those Afro-pessimists so keen to downplay the excellent work being done by the Princess, other royals, executives, managers, high-flyers, assorted hangers-on and of course the big cheese himself – he being much too humble to mention them, especially when he has played a pivotal role.

Let’s see, in no particular order, the rape of the innocents and the elderly – apparently a cultural activity akin to sport but with more violence - Jackie Selebe, Bruce McBride and Richard Mduli, Jacob Zuma himself – his wives, showers, Aids, paintings, children and aeroplanes - Julius Malema, Shabhir Shaik, the entire Shaik family - and the Gupta’s - Corrie Sanders, Lucky Dube, untold households, businesses and armoured cars plus 3,000+ farmers, “garlic and sweet potatoes” Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, King Goodwill Zwelithini and his “palatial” budget, King Mswati - his many wives, starving people and endless loans – untold numbers of “Kings” and “Royal families”, Robert Mugabe and his “free and fair” elections, Aurora  Mine, Marikana, school books, education, potholes, tenderpreneurs, South African Airways, Transnet, Eskom, SABC, Telkom, bankrupt municipalities, qualified budgets, re-deployed cadres and lastly but not least unemployment.

Is there anything I’ve left out here in this very brief list of successes of the ANC government? Oh of course. Lots of people now have access to water, and electricity – much of it illegally obtained and all paid for by the few remaining taxpayers.

An honourable mention also needs to be made here of those selfless ANC cadres like Cyril, Tokyo, Matthews, and others too numerous to name, who successfully made the difficult transition from “strugglers” to the ranks of the wealthy in record time and who are now using that wealth to empower other strugglers, especially in the mining sector.

Let us also not forget that they have created millions of jobs – well thousands anyway – in new industries like home and business security, tenderpreneurship, entitlement and window - and home - shopping with cultural weapons. Afro-pessimists tend to call the last mentioned crime but it’s actually an industry, created in a time of need to provide employment for those unable to obtain positions in government, or access grants for whatever reason, as Princess Sisulu can no doubt vouch for.

We also hosted the 2010 World Cup - nearly winning it as well by scoring the first goal - we have more people receiving government grants than we have taxpayers, we’ve become the destination of choice for everybody north of the Limpopo and now we’re going to reform the United Nations, take credit for inventing fire - and the wheel - and shortly will put a fully representative, demographically selected team on the moon, or Mars. We’ll then rename that as well, just to prove that there’s literally nothing we can’t do if we put our collective minds to it.

Ah yes, nothing like looking back fondly on 18 years of achievement, is there?

Literally makes one swell with pride and one can only wonder what’s in store for us in the golden age to come with such enlightened and progressive leaders like the princess, the big cheese and Mac “The Denialist” Maharaj.


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