Well blow me over with a light breeze, Yesterday I was accused of calling my kids dumb by some chap that has no idea what the term judgement means, or he would like to redefine it to suit his needs. This is the story of Princess Jen.
I am not a Mr Spock that claims to know everything but I have raised two great kids whom I admire for their courage, their sense and their commitment to achieving a good education. These are not dumb kids and I have never called my kids stupid unless they have cocked up monumentally. I suppose the best place to start is at the beginning. I met my wife many years ago, married her a few years later and this year we will celebrate 22 years of wedded bliss, She is truly my happily ever after.
In the winter of 1992 for my Birthday my sweetheart and I had a picnic on the banks of a stream where one of the greatest minds of the 21st century was conceived. On the 10 February 1993 a bouncing baby girl of 9.5lb was born in the Johannesburg general hospital to the proudest parents to ever have lived. This happened naturally and without drugs and daddy was the first person to touch and hold the Princess. The Princess was visited by friends and family from the far corners of the kingdom and greatly admired.
Her first few years were rather pretty uneventfuland she was graced by a brother on the 15th of February 1996 at 10lbs in Edenvale once again naturally and without drugs. The Princess was overjoyed and loved the young Prince with all her heart and soul. He too was inspected and found to be a good specimen by all who met him.
The story of the Prince will be told at another time, This is the story of the Princess. so let's go back to the beginning. The princess smiled and gurgled, ate and drank, defecated and slept as is the norm for human babies. She adored her Daddy and her Mommy. In her 9th month she started moving around by bouncing along on her behind and lo and behold stood up and started toddling just before the anniversary of her 10th month. She was a curious creature always looking and touching and learning. Her first words were uttered at this time.
In her 18th month she toddled into the kitchenette and found the kettle cord and tugged, Mommy and Daddy saw it happening and were powerless to prevent what happened next, The kettle fell and spilled hot water on her, In a jiffy she was stripped down and in a cold bath. She still carries a scar on her behind where a little water was trapped in the waterproof.
Just after the birth of her Brother we were enjoying burning some meat with a friend and his family. The Princess displayed the sense of humour and intelligence in spade on this day. Mark was busy pouring a drink when the Princess pointed at a spot on the wall and said Daddy, "look there is a mark", and then pointed to another and said "Look Uncle Mark, theres another mark." Much hilarity was present in the kingdom on that day.
The Princess Daddy believed in discipline so that the Princess would not be an uncontrollable brat like some he had met over the years. She was disciplined with a gentle smack on the hand or even the bottom until she was capable of being negotiated with. (TIP If you can't control your kid at two, you are going to have serious trouble when they hit their teens.)
On a day somewhere in her fourth year the Princess turned into an Ogre. She was a wilful young thing and would not listen to her Mommy and despite numerous threats she continued with behaviour that would make a monster blush. Mommy decided a smack on the bum was in order and the Ogre just laughed at Mommy. As Mommy and Daddy had an agreement that the children would never be smacked in anger, the ogre was placed in her bedroom and the door closed. She screamed, She performed as if every demon in the kingdom had posessed her, kicking the door. Mommy's heart was breaking and she wanted to cuddle her, Daddy prevented this from happening. Eventually the noise stopped. As everyone knows when the noise stops you investigate toot suite.
The Princess was lying on the floor fast asleep, her tantrum having worn her out. This is one of the ways the Princesses intelligence stands out. After only one session of this cruel and inhumane punishment she realised that tantrums wer not going to get her any joy, Nary a tantrum was ever employed by the Princess again, She learned the art of wrapping Daddy around her little finger instead.
In May 1998 the Princess, her brother and her Mother were in the car with Daddy when some bad men tried to rob the car. Daddy stopped at a robot and three men approached the car and told Dady to get out. Daddy decided that this would be a bad time to comply and decised to leave the area in a hurry. One of the men jumped on to the running board alongside the Princess and proceded to break the window with a hammer. Daddy drove onto the sidewalk and aimed for a lamp post. The bad man saw this and jumped off before he was going to be removed by the post. Daddy left the area and everyone was safe. We hoped that the bad man had broken something jumping off the vehicle but sadly will never know.
30 Days later the Princess arrived in London along with the Prince, her Mommy and Daddy. She started school a few days later and started winning prizes and certificates for her outstanding work. She entered plays, found a best friend and became a twin. This was a happy time for her with a lot of freedom and play. She cycled to school and went to the Park with her friends.
She was slowly learning to make decisions for herself and her judgement synapses were being formed. She was an awesome child, caring for those less fortunate and making daddy contribute to every cause the School brought to the fore. 4 and a half years later daddy decided he wanted to go home and the Princesses heart was broken, She had to leave her twin behind. Facebook and the net were still not something that kids played on so they lost touch.
The Princess was moved again two years later and she found new friends. The group stuck together through thick and thin and still get together today whenever they can. The Princess worked hard at school and was in the top ten students in her grade every year in high school. She passes Matric with 6 distinctions expecting 7, as did two of her friends. In the year of her matriculation, there was an error made but despite remarks this was never rectified. I understand that not one English first language distinction was achieved in Mpumalanga in 2010. There were many complaints about this issue but they fell on deaf ears. None of the avenues followed made any difference.
The Princess went to university to study LLB, She also got a job as a waitron at a well known restaurant franchise. The stories she tells about the place are awesome, but they are her stories. She passed her first year with one distinction. 30% of her classmates dropped out in this time.
Her second year was a year of turmoil. Her mother nearly didn't survive a bout of Keto Acidosis a complication of previously undiagnosed Diabetes, Her father nearly lost three fingers on his right hand in an industrial accident. The year was a financial disaster and it did not look like the Princess would get to attend a third year of university. The Princess was devastated. She passed her second year with ons distinction.
Dad had an idea and reached out. Due to the largesse, generosity and love of people from Dads past, total strangers and absolute heroes, The fees were paid. The Princess smiled again and became joyful. The next part of her adventure is starting. May she live happily ever after.
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