I consider myself a rather frequent flyer, both local and international
For the most part, I enjoy flying. The turbulence on Take-off and landing, the intense acceleration off the run way as you get pushed back in your seat, the experience of looking out the window and seeing just how insignificant you are when given a little perspective.
However… every time I sit my arse down in one of those ridiculously tiny seats, all the reasons for me to utterly despise flying, comes flooding back in a Nano second.
Now I know, this is on those articles that is going to cause a flood of hatred towards my personal opinion, but let me make it clear, it’s MY PERSONAL OPINION, I AM ENTITLED TO IT… if you find yourself offended, please feel free to re-direct yourself to another page.
Firstly, and I have felt this way for quite some time. Fat people and I don’t give into the debate of ‘some people aren’t fat by choice’… they should be charged for their extra kilos on a flight. If I am expected to pay more for additional kilos in luggage, because it takes up more space in the cargo hold, you should be charged for all the extra burgers, shakes and fries that have contributed to you looking like the Michelin/Oros man. I pay the same airline fee as you do, explain to me how it is fair that I get half my seat space, because your fat rolls are oozing over into my seat? Essentially, I am being punished because you cannot control your eating habits. When you courier items, you pay bi weight. The same thing should apply on airlines. When attending gym (Something im sure most of the podgy pudding people haven’t heard of before), you will notice that the gym gives you an average weight per height ratio, the same thing should apply. You stand on a scale, and if you don’t fall in that category, you pay more. Please refrain from telling me how insensitive I am, it won’t change my opinion on this.
Secondly, and this is a pet peeve of mine. I frequently find on international flights that not one hour after boarding, the people in my row tend to kick off their nasty, smelly, sweaty shoes and sit with their socks on. WHY FOR THE LOVE OF MANKIND… if you know you are flying, do you not wear comfortable shoes? Have you not noticed that we are sitting in a rather small pressurised container with the same air re-circulating in it? Now I need to sit and smell your gross feet as they permeate their odour upwards towards my nostrils, and I have nowhere to escape to??!?!?!?! Keep em’ on folks, please!
Inevitably, somewhere along your long journey flight you are going to put your seat down (As far as reclining is actually possible in those tiny chairs)… Please, do not lean over my shoulder and ask me to put my seat up so you can sit comfortably. I will not. It is my right, which I have paid for, to put the seat down and try to assume some position of relative comfort. You are welcome to do the same. It does not give you less leg room; it is not an inconvenience to you.
Including in my list of annoying flying habits are the following:
· Long haul overnight flights, when you sleeping early morning (If you lucky), and some idiot in your row decided to open the window to see the clouds, FFS, and then lets in a blinding ray of light that rips you out of your hard earner slumber!
· Farting on flights – I get it! I get that you have no control over what your body decides. But have the bloody decency to go into the loo and let rip in the comfort of your own prison, so that you can be exposed to your deadly gas on your own! I do not want to smell it. It lingers, and then circulates, and for those of you that thing that its silent and people wont smell it, HAVE YOU SEEN HOW CLOSE WE ARE ALL SITTING TO YOU AND HOW SMALL THE CABIN IS! We will smell it!
· The options are ‘chicken or beef’, please do not ask for Pork / Pasta / vegetarian / or any other option on the menu that isn’t offered. Those are your options, if you don’t like them, don’t eat. And please, why does the air hostess have to repeat to every single person what the options are. They haven’t changed from when she asked the passenger sitting next to you. Open your ears!
· People who give air hostess’s a hard time! Do you have any idea how hard these people work to keep you happy. Their shift hours are ridiculous, when you are snoozing with a full tummy, they are prepping. Do you have to be a total areshole to them when its hard enough being confined in a small space for hours on end, and having to ensure your problems in full suit, tie and heels? Have some damn sympathy and respect.
· When your bags don’t fit in the overhead cabin. It happens; don’t make an issue out of it. Simply wait, and then find a space to fit it. But please, have the decency not to shove, manhandle or squash the other bags in the compartment with no respect for what may be in them and then leave your bag hanging half out when you can clearly see the compartment won’t close, leaving the host to come past and have to re-position everything. That’s just lazy!
· One last thing and this one always get me. When the plane has landed and is taxying down the runway, there seems to be this rush to unbutton your seatbelt and turn your phones on, because god forbid you don’t check your messages for another 5 minutes until you are off the plane. Why does everyone have to stand up straight away, so that you now have a congested, completely unnecessary row of people who will inevitably wait for another 10 minutes before the doors are opened? Why not stay seated, maintain a level of composure and then begin to move off the plane once the doors have opened? It’s like people become animals when planes land, but for what purpose? Because you all still going to be kept waiting at the baggage collection terminal when everyone has to stand right ontop of the exit section to collect their bags instead of moving 10 metres down and waiting an extra 30 seconds for your bag to come around?!
Overall, flying is an extremely convenient form of travel, but it can also be one of total frustration, irritation, and anger when not handled correctly.
I loathe having to go through this experience every time. When the day does come that we charge fat people more to sit on planes, and teach the average citizen to display common decency and respect, I may then consider reviewing my stance of air travel.
Side Note – I know I may have offended some/many people with this article. Its my opinion, if you don’t like it, feel free to tell me what a total cow I am in the comments section, that’s your right to an option that I fully respect.