When I landed in Cape Town earlier this week, I saw this advertisement in the airport that confused me to no end:
What
puzzles me is how a dog carrying a leather strap in its mouth links up
with an investment company’s products. With the markets so bad, is he
bringing the owner a belt to hang himself with? Then they added the
slogan - “The longer the wait, the greater the reward”. Huh?
I
know this philosophy applies perfectly to my ex’s new boyfriend’s cheap
hair transplant, but again, how does this slogan fit in with a dog?
Nicolas Cage’s hairpiece proved that dog by-products make poor
investment managers. Or maybe they’re saying rich people can afford dogs
that help out with their own abuse? Allan Gray, you might be one of the most successful investment houses, but dropping an analogy
grenade like this and running off was extremely irresponsible,
just as irresponsible as this country not passing a law forcing Steve
Hofmeyr to get a vasectomy. The confusion kept me awake and screaming
for two whole days!
Just like that weekend spent with Steve Hofmeyr when he tried to impregnate me.
Personally
I think they could’ve chosen a better picture to go with the slogan. If
they really wanted to use an expensive, tick-infested animal on a leash
that the entire world would recognize immediately they could have done a
photohoot with Paris Hilton’s vagina. To explain my criticism more
clearly, they should have stuck with the successful four standard
investment industry advertising options:
· Hot model in a swimsuit,
· Hot model in a swimsuit smoking a cigar,
· Hot
model in a swimsuit eating strawberries off another hot model’s body
with Rambo playing on a widescreen plasma TV in the background, or
· Mocking a dead movie star’s extremely shitty luck. How much easier can it be?!
So
in closing, until Allan Gray explains to the world what the heck their
advertisement is supposed to mean, I’ve done my own caption to explain the dog's presence.
