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An epic battle

14 June 2012, 07:00

I had  a whole piece prepared around our circus of a government and how they keep going on about apartheid, but they do not see that THEY themselves will one day be responsible for a crime far greater than apartheid could ever be held liable for. But I read it again and realized that my rants and raves are just the same as everybody else, we all know that we are heading for disaster, and the only thing the ANC is worries about, is how much money they can make before that happens.

SO instead of going on a tangent, I will share with you a much greater story, a story of bravery, deceit, drama and intrigue. This is the story of a Holy ground called the bathroom, and the epic battle that ensues between man and ant.

The battle for the holy ground started about 1 month ago, I was doing my monthly cleaning of the Holy ground as I am the rightful owner of this prestige piece of property. While doing this I noticed a small communist wondering the ground, the little brave soul had six legs and is commonly referred to as an ant, but in our domicile they are regarded as young communists who worship a dictator of a queen. This little guy did not bother me at first, because surely he and his band of brothers are familiar with the history of the battle that was fought between us and the cockroaches a few weeks prior to our encounter. This was an epic battle, but has now been dwarfed by the war that was yet to come.

A few days later I noticed at least 5-10 little communists roaming the same piece of land, this was cause for concern, so I exercised my right to execute any illegal aliens that was found on the Holy ground, this execution was done by means of feet and tissue paper. This angered them, one day later I found hundreds of them attempting to gain control of the Holy ground once again, this was a declaration of war. I made no attempt to negotiate with these thugs, for I knew they were just acting on the instructions of their dictator queen, and out of experience I knew that one can not talk sense with a dictator. So the lines were drawn, the stage was set, and a massacre of biblical proportions was about to happen…

One day later our resident four legged spies which will go by the aliases of “Boeboe” and “Cloe”, uncovered what seemed to be a secret communist base camp which was located just out side the Holy ground under a rock. Secret intelligence told us that this was a training camp for young soldiers, and they were preparing for a massive march to the Holy ground. I launched a huge airborn attack on this base with water and more feet. This setback made my enemies change their strategy, their next move was one of pure brilliance and bravery. I later found that they have infiltrated the food supply of our resident spies (Boeboe and Cloe), thousands of them took control of the dog food pile. Our enemies obviously got fed up with our spies, and decided to attempt to starve them by destroying the food supply, our spies did all they can to save the supply, but they were met with a counter attack, the communists crawled up their noses causing the spies to sneeze, they crawled onto the backs of our spies which made them itch, eventually our brave spies retreated to lick their wounds, and the communists won the battle of which was later described as “Food Harbor”.

Food Harbor was the last straw, I was forced to do what I tried to avoid at all costs, it was time to unleash the mother of all attacks, the “Fat boy” of bombs…yes it was time to turn to biological warfare. The secret weapon I was going to use went by the name of “The Raid”, this weapon is so advanced in technology that one can not even smell its presence, it can be deployed in wide open areas, and its effects lasts for days. The bomb was unleashed by method of an airborne attack as well as concentrated attacks on the communist bases. The bomb caused devastation never before seen by this army, and rumor has it that the dictator queen was forced to evacuate her hide out. The aftermath was gut wrenching, millions of dead soldiers was found in and around the Holy ground, with millions more underground never to be seen again.

Although we won this battle, the war is far from over, the communist will regroup, and they will retaliate and avenge the deaths of their brothers, but for now the Holy ground is safe…  

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