I stumbled across those news articles about Dewani in the
newspapers this morning.
Apparently he believes that he might not receive a fair trial
in South Africa and he fears being forced into a career as a sex slave in South
African correctional facilities.
Therefore he conveniently contracted post-traumatic stress disorder
(PTSD) a disorder I thought to be more likely diagnosed with the parents
of Anni, his murdered wife.
Why the fear of South Africa?
South Africa presents excellent career opportunities in the politics for
such accomplished lairs as Dewani. He is
only two steps away from the presidency.
All that is needed is getting acquitted from his crimes and there is no
easier place to manage that than in South Africa. Both Shaik and Glenn Agliotti illustrated it.
The next step, as a new South African, Dewani needs to start
a party, get a voter base and start more parties or join the ANC. South Africa has the dimmest voters on the
planet and will support anything even a scarecrow as long as it promises free
farmland, easily effortless wealth which preferably excludes attachments like
work and free housing.
If Dewani does not get acquitted from his crimes all is not
lost in actual fact his future looks even brighter because a jail sentence is
viewed as an extra credit for the presidency in South Africa. Some of South Africa’s most distinguished and
iconic prime ministers and presidents where either jailed or exiled. John Vorster, Nelson Mandela, Thabo Mbeki and
Jacob Zuma are a few that come to mind. Dewani doesn’t have to worry about the exile
option though since South Africans eagerly awaits his arrival.
I must admit I think Dewani is delusional if he thinks that
he is only at risk in a South African prison.
With a face like that, eyebrow plucked, sphinx wax job and a couple of
missing front teeth sexually deprived inmates anywhere in the world will pay excellent
tribute to his master to spend a night with him. The problem with criminals is that even though inmates
have human rights they are oblivious to the fact that it applies to others as
well and that is what landed them in the slammer in the first place.
Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)! Congratulations! Well played Dewani! Give credit where it is due. That was a really clever spin on Shaik’s old
trick which he pulled off with graze and excellence. The nice thing about PTSD it is a psychological
disorder that can be completely mimicked without any physiological evidence. However that is not too difficult either
since a elevate heart beat and dizziness by auto-hyperventilation is quite accomplishable. Selebi might have problems convincing a sharp
medical professional of his condition but maybe his doctor was already bought and
paid for by the time his appeal failed.
It appears as if Dewani’s lawyers are looking for excuses rather
than solutions. I hate negativity like
that. A strong dose of Prozac to keep
his nerves calm, sleeping pills to help him get through those lonely worrisome
nights without Anni and a straight jacket to prevent him from suicide will cure
his problem. He will be good to go
within a week where South Africans will await him with enthusiasm.
One can just imagine the days before PTSD was recognized as a
legitimate disorder. Criminals just pissed in their pans when they were
arrested. The PTSD or anxiety usually
disappeared as soon as the arms dislocated from its sockets during the torcher rack
face off with the master tortherer down in the dungeon. The best a criminal could hope for was a
quick but not necessarily painless death.
I am convinced in those days Dewani, Selebi and Shaik would voluntarily
line up to be in Janice Bronwyn Linden shoes.
Maybe Dewani’s ambitions are not a presidency at all but
early retirement. It makes sense then to negotiating a luxury
correction facility with tennis courts, swimming pools, snooker tables, gym,
library and an excellent retirement plan with medical insurance somewhere in
Europe. Admittedly South African
correction facilities do not quite deliver such services but even I am often
tempted to get into a live long retirement facility like some of those fine
establishments in Europe.