PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Peter King
 
Comments: 1
Article views: 293
 
 
Latest Badges:

 
View all Peter King's badges.
 

Ashes to Ashes

10 January 2014, 11:04

There is no particularly clear reason why I should favour England in any sporting contest against Australia, I just do.

Perhaps this preference owes its roots to my childhood enculturation which included Pooh Bear, Peter Rabbit and the whole Epaminondas series. Perhaps it is more due to the fact that later in life, my family’s sporting obsessions always regarded the All Blacks (in rugby) and the Australians (in cricket) as THE teams to beat, which meant that particular pleasure was derived when either one of them suffered a reversal against anybody else.

I grew up during an age when England were regarded as the whipping boys of international sport. Except for the wife-beater Geoff Boycott, too many of the troops spoke posh, and the required mongrel was not in evidence to go toe to toe with sides constructed around historically recent convict, cannibal or slave stock. (These factors, as everyone knows, have provided a strong physical advantage to a variety of fearsome peoples around the world).

England’s perennial problem was that, though they had invented a few ball games and then foolishly taught the colonies how to play them, the dole and the BBC had obviously softened their core muscles irreparably, and they just could not pass muster in the hurly-burly of top-flight competition.  

At some point in the 1970s, England woke up and decided to poach an Old Queenian, the late Tony Greig, to bolster their middle order and provide some much-needed leadership, a trait presumably developed from growing up in the aforesaid colonies. They liked the tall blond fellow so much they promptly made him captain (a favour he promptly returned by skipping off to Oz to play for Kerry Packer).

Greig was followed by Allan Lamb (a typical woossie English name) and Robin Smith (with little finesse but a lot of artisanal grit), but all to no avail.   

 We had to wait until the new millennium for English cricket to pull its collective finger out and start producing some respectable results in the Test arena. It goes without saying that this was done with a fair amount of colonial reinforcement, not least of which was provided in the form of a narcissistic tattoed Durbanite who regarded himself as God’s gift to the international arena.

Quite recently, England had Australia over a barrel, winning back the Ashes and managing to hold on to them for a couple of years. After the glory years of Warne and McGrath, this was sweet revenge, and went down well almost everywhere except where they have a taste for marsupial roadkill in their potjiekos.

Alas, they have flattered only to deceive. After talking up their prospects for a 5-match rubber on the desert continent, once again England have capitulated pathetically, even being called a disgrace (somewhat richly) by the aforementioned wife-beater who now makes a living offering expert opinions on the correct technique for a good knock.

There should be an enquiry into why, with so many shrinks available to modern professional sportsmen, a fair number of England’s cricketers see fit to cry off sick whenever they have to spend more than two weeks away from home, or to retire suddenly in the middle of a tour.

Having dispensed with this sorry band of pansies, the insufferable offspring of pickpockets and ne’er-do-wells are now talking up their chances for their upcoming tour to Africa, even suggesting that they have the best bowling attack in the world.

They make me very cross. 

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
1 comment
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Terrylin Backpackers
The cheque is in the post

"I hear you are in bond collections. What are the latest excuses people are coming up with these days? I've run out of ideas." Read more...

4 comments 598 views
Submitted by
Meta
News in the digital age

How do you think that spreading your hate/bigotry and or intolerance helps anybody? Read more...

13 comments 965 views
Submitted by
Brian Faul
How and why a Dictator is born

One needs to remember looking back in history these hard times is when a dictator is more likely to get born. It is during these hard times that a dictator gets voted into power. Read more...

11 comments 1764 views
Submitted by
Prenisha Naidoo
I will be proactive...

This letter is in response to articles on the death of baby Jamie Naidoo, We have the tendency to be reactive…we wait for something to happen, then suddenly we care, writes a News24 User. Read more...

2 comments 431 views
Submitted by
woadstress
Celebration

Make a list of at least ten things that you can celebrate, and write two or three reasons why you can celebrate those things or events. Read more...

1 comments 150 views
Submitted by
Eric de Castro
Last squeak of the year

 Read more...

12 comments 207 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

2DAYS ONLY – 30% off Appliances

Coffee makers, blenders, fans, juicers and more. T&Cs apply. Shop now!

2 DAYS ONLY – 40% off books

Get 40% off when you buy 2 books. For two days only! T&Cs apply. Buy now!

Up to 50% off on outdoor gear

Save on chairs, blankets, cooler bags, umbrellas and more. Shop now!

Save on Samsung

Cameras, mobile phones, TVs, Tablets and more. While stocks last. Shop now!

Grand Theft Auto 5

Now available on PS4, Xbox One and PC from R649. Buy now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.