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Charles Dumbwin
 
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Atheists in Worship? Hallehula!

07 March 2014, 13:12

So just recently, I’ve had some insight into this new militant breed of atheism and the seeming rise of their godless mega-churches. 

One word seems to sum it up quite nicely: ‘copycats’.  As fate would have it, atheists the world over so miss the idea and ideologies of church, that they are regrouping and going back to religious gatherings, only this time, they’re trying to eliminate God from their services.

Is it just me or is that just completely pathetic?  Read up on this bizarre and growing atheist religious practice:

http://news.yahoo.com/atheist-mega-churches-root-across-us-world-214619648.html

So as I mentioned, I’ve had some visibility into this strange cult and how the atheist cult conducts itself behind closed doors.  It goes like this…

The service starts and the atheist priest takes to the podium.  There’s no Bible in his hand, rather a collection of recent magazines and newspaper clippings of world events - all with the atheist agenda in mind.

No off-key band is present, instead, current chart-topping hits are boomed across distorting speakers for all to hear.  The atheist congregation bops and jives, twerking in unison as their anti-God frenzy reaches fever pitch.

It’s party hats, piñatas, bean bags and hula hoops.  Hallehula! 

Yes folks, despite the hell-bent insistence of atheists the world over to deny God, they inevitably succumb to their inner yearnings and participate in atheist church services anyway, drawn by their inherent instincts to worship a Higher Being.

No tithes are collected in baskets doing their rounds, but generous donations are ‘encouraged’. 

As the atheist church service draws to a close, it’s high-fives and back-slaps all around.  Business cards are swopped, contacts details exchanged and pseudo-science theories are bandied about like a new inmate being passed from cell to cell like a pack of cigarettes.

For now though, I guess we should be content in the knowledge that even atheists are engaging in religious church services, drawn to their roots as it were.

So atheists, I implore you:  you’re almost there, keep going!  Twerk those godless hips, lift your voices, raise your hands, and do the Hallehula!

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