MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Charles Dumbwin
Comments: 113
Article views: 717
Latest Badges:

View all Charles Dumbwin's badges.

Atheists in Worship? Hallehula!

07 March 2014, 13:12

So just recently, I’ve had some insight into this new militant breed of atheism and the seeming rise of their godless mega-churches. 

One word seems to sum it up quite nicely: ‘copycats’.  As fate would have it, atheists the world over so miss the idea and ideologies of church, that they are regrouping and going back to religious gatherings, only this time, they’re trying to eliminate God from their services.

Is it just me or is that just completely pathetic?  Read up on this bizarre and growing atheist religious practice:

So as I mentioned, I’ve had some visibility into this strange cult and how the atheist cult conducts itself behind closed doors.  It goes like this…

The service starts and the atheist priest takes to the podium.  There’s no Bible in his hand, rather a collection of recent magazines and newspaper clippings of world events - all with the atheist agenda in mind.

No off-key band is present, instead, current chart-topping hits are boomed across distorting speakers for all to hear.  The atheist congregation bops and jives, twerking in unison as their anti-God frenzy reaches fever pitch.

It’s party hats, piñatas, bean bags and hula hoops.  Hallehula! 

Yes folks, despite the hell-bent insistence of atheists the world over to deny God, they inevitably succumb to their inner yearnings and participate in atheist church services anyway, drawn by their inherent instincts to worship a Higher Being.

No tithes are collected in baskets doing their rounds, but generous donations are ‘encouraged’. 

As the atheist church service draws to a close, it’s high-fives and back-slaps all around.  Business cards are swopped, contacts details exchanged and pseudo-science theories are bandied about like a new inmate being passed from cell to cell like a pack of cigarettes.

For now though, I guess we should be content in the knowledge that even atheists are engaging in religious church services, drawn to their roots as it were.

So atheists, I implore you:  you’re almost there, keep going!  Twerk those godless hips, lift your voices, raise your hands, and do the Hallehula!

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Keegan Fisher
A Former Lecturer's Voice on #Fee...

After being a lecturer at a large university in South Africa for the last 5 years, I have seen a huge decline in standards - both from the student body and in the academic quality of the degrees.  Read more...

0 comments 1194 views
Submitted by
George Tiernan Jenkins
Students to invest in their own f...

The current turmoil in our universities is creating a far bigger problem than I think the protesting students realise. Read more...

0 comments 113 views
Submitted by
De Wet Ferreira
5 reasons to grab a cuppa’ Joe ri...

To some, coffee is like the R5 coin you need to start the ride at an amusement park – without it there is no chance of regular human functioning or interaction.  Read more...

0 comments 77 views
Submitted by
The capture of South Africa

So here’s the thing. In 2005 Mbeki removed Zuma from office of the Deputy President of South Africa. That’s only 11 years ago folks. Read more...

0 comments 364 views
Submitted by
Sane Sunyshine Sihiya
Discrepancy! Discrepancy! Discrep...

Where have we gone wrong since the great 1994 aftermath of the attainment of the right of freedom of expression through voting for all was afforded? Read more...

0 comments 139 views
Submitted by
Thabang Maotwe
Online Application

I don’t understand how it is possible for the district or whoever controls the schools, to notify the schools to reject children and tell us to register our children in schools that are closer to where we stay. Read more...

0 comments 67 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2016 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.