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"Atheists will go to heaven" - Pope

30 July 2013, 07:19
Although the Pope is not quite sure whether gays are good or bad, he's more certain that atheists will go to heaven if they do good deeds.  Sweet of him to say, and he adds, "Who am I to judge."

The Pope bases his assertion on the following premise: "If he is not one of us, he cannot do good. If he is not of our party, he cannot do good." He explained that Jesus corrected them, "Do not hinder him, he says, let him do good." 

This puts atheists in a good position vis-a-vis not only their own lives, but the possibility (superslim as it must be) of assuring a happily ever after in the ever after.  Atheists seem to have altruism in common, so the best rooms in God's mansion ought to be reserved in the meantime.
Advice to Christians: please do not hinder us.  Instead, heed what we say, or else face a series of special workshops in heaven.
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