Well…The year 2013 most certainly started off well I decided not to make any new year’s promises this time because they always come back and bite me on the behind again for some reason. I’m starting to think that the heavenly beings must not like me anymore maybe because it’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to them or went to find answers I just gave up because non seem to have reached me yet and nothing seem to happen to make my situation any better.
The problems we’ve all been having lately…me and the rest of South Africa off course has started to affect me. And off course it’s not just about us but the rest of the world too. Well however the admin up in the heavens work it’s taking a bit long though, I’m seriously sorry that I don’t have a life time to wait around for any answers or aid anymore!
Just a few weeks ago this horrible chain reaction of bad luck started as if last year wasn’t enough and the year before that …how long does this stuff go on is the heavens furious at me or what? I’m not going to tell you the whole sad and sorry tale of what happened to me and try and look for your sympathy because well I just need to let this stuff out now… I’m not really looking for any sympathy just understanding something that seems to be missing within most of society these days it seems.
Well it started with my cousins bad run in with a SUV he borrowed from someone. It broke down in Malalane and I went to fetch him it was no problem I like helping, and I like driving so it was nothing for me but little did I know that the bad moon was raising my friend… and there was a trouble storm on my path.
After that my grandma’s car broke down and they had to get it towed all the way from Witbank to Nelspruit where she stays imagine the cost… and it wasn’t a small problem either something about engine bearings I can tell you that the towing service alone cost an amount I don’t even want to mention on here, I would feel to embarrassed to share that.
Then after that guess what? My dad’s Bantam bakkie broke down luckily he has such a loyal employee working for him that helped him out with his vehicle for business purposes. Heck it was a whole row of strange car break downs. I lost my job at the end of February just to make this story more sarcastically dramatic and couldn’t find a suitable job since.
I went to many interviews I even got one application of employment but I didn’t accept the kind offer because I felt that the atmosphere of that working environment was too cold I wanted to work in a more friendly…team working type of environment, call me picky if you want I should probably not complain about sitting without work now because I turned an opportunity down, I’m usually so impulsive and make really bad decisions that way … guess I’ve learned my lesson.
Recruitment Agencies are a joke and they aren’t helping as usual unfortunately I don’t have much of a choice but to try and hope for the best maybe it’s just me, I’m doing something horribly wrong can’t someone tell me what it is at least where has all the honesty gone to in this crazy world? It’s as easy as saying no or yes really.
So yet again back to the cars that broke after my dad’s vehicle was repaired he got it back again and yes it broke again…oh the irony! Anyway so he borrowed my grandma’s car …funny story it broke down in Witbank again…yes AGAIN! I think it was the exact same problem it had before…it’s a crying shame isn’t it?
I won’t blame the mechanic…I really won’t because he probably did his best to help us but if that doesn’t get your spirits down for good I don’t know what would? Okay so now where back to square one ... No Cars… today I bought a car I couldn’t afford without a job and had to rely on my dad and his income to help me I am not happy at all with the fact that I still have to stay with them because I don’t earn enough to stay on my own or can keep a job long enough to even think about leaving their home.
I shouldn’t be complaining at all though… other people has it far worse than me after all… it’s just I want to feel like a belong somewhere, fit in find a nice job …I really work hard I do and I give my complete best for these people but I guess my best will never be good enough at the end. My point is that I am very alone and it is really hard to find any friends I can really talk too, or anyone that can offer me at least a helping hand or soothing shoulder…if you know what I mean.
It’s my cousin who had to fetch my dad in Witbank the one who I helped who had a broken SUV in Malelane the world is funny isn’t it…ironic I’m tired, I’m trying to think up some solution to these problems I really am but the thing is I just don’t see any light at the end of this tunnel, I can tell you that what troubles me deeper is the future … and It’s very bleak for me right now no job… I can’t afford an apartment even and no hope… I can’t see any of that happening soon at all I can’t afford to go study any father to help in my job seeking.
Maybe I shouldn’t have turned down that one application after all and suffered another few months of office drama…what if something goes wrong…what if that employer doesn’t like me either for some reason I don’t know? What if…what if…what if can go on for infinity and I’ll never know. I just needed to let my frustrations out really…