Oscar, my dear boy. I hope you get to read this.

I can only imagine what sort of emotions would be flowing if my own son had to put himself and my family into such a devastating predicament. Although I cannot pardon the grief you have caused Reeva’s family through this horrific nightmare, you and your family are constantly in our thoughts and prayers.

We all make mistakes. Some are serious and some are not that serious, but all mistakes must be accounted for, and honesty my boy is the only way in which you may find that the world may start showing some form of compassion for a fallen international hero such as yourself.

What has happened has happened…we cannot turn back the clock, and I am sure that turning back the clock is probably your greatest hearts desire at this current point in time. I wish I could help you with this, but unfortunately reality is an impossible barrier to overcome. I can however help you to face this impossible barrier and through this process, hopefully help you to partially regain the respect of your fans and fellow citizens.

 If one makes a mistake, it takes courage to admit it and to face the consequences, without fabricating a lot of reasons in an attempt to justify your actions. Only in hindsight, quite some time after a mistake as big as yours have been made, one can ponder on what could have motivated such recklessness and how one could overcome the causes of your actions. I strongly believe that with the trauma that you have been subjected to, you should not be out on bail. You should be receiving intensive emergency psychiatric treatment. You have after all witnessed the brutal killing of a loved one and to make matters worse, you have killed her yourself. I know of people being traumatized for life just from visiting a mortuary and they were not even slightly instrumental in the demise of the corpses they have seen. 

At this point I must say that if your current representation of what has happened is the absolute truth, I have the deepest sympathy with you and pray that you can live with your conscience and hopefully one day overcome this tragedy. There are many who would really like to believe this but due to the way in which your account of events has been structured, there are also many who find your version too questionable to believe. 

Please bear in mind that the information I’ve used below are from various media reports, some differing from the others as usual, but all had been reported and is available on twitter via the NEWS24 website.

I have also made some assumptions based on what would generally be considered as “normal behaviour” in a perfect world. I do however realise that under differing circumstances, all individuals cannot be judged by the same set of rules.

I am not judging you, Oscar. I’m merely trying to help you see the bigger picture. Hopefully you will read further and honestly justify each stipulated move you’ve made, or dismiss what was said, and spill the beans.

Firstly, when did you receive death threats and what action did you take to protect yourself and to report these threats? Taking into account your vulnerability and fear factors, combined with your high public profile, shouldn’t you have consulted with a security company or appointed a bodyguard? The reason why I am questioning this is because no one seems to know anything about these threats you have received, and after all, who would want to threaten a handicapped person? Also, if it was not serious enough to report, then why would you believe that it was serious enough to mention in order to justify what had happened to Reeva? 

Secondly, why on earth did you not contact the estate administrator “Stander” to immediately remove the ladder leading to your window when you noticed it, seeing that it must have really bothered you?

Thirdly, with your feelings of vulnerability, why did you wait till the early hours of the morning to close your sliding doors? Also, how could you be so reckless with your bathroom window, as it was definitely not opened by a burglar?

Fourthly, when you went back into the dark bedroom to get your gun, what prevented you from gently laying a hand on Reeva in order to warn her of the eminent danger in your home?

Fifthly, why try and kill anyone through a closed toilet door if the odds were so much in your favour? Surely you had the upper hand in being able to choose where and how far you wanted to be from the “threatening” closed door. And four shots!! Good grief my boy, just how dead did you want this imaginary perpetrator to be.

Sixthly, after you realised that Reeva was not in bed as expected and after managing to strap on your prosthetics and bash down the locked door to find her slumped massacred body, where on earth did you find the composure to firstly dial an emergency number, and then to “dial a friend” ? Any “reasonable man” realising his helplessness in this situation would go ape-crazy, storming outside, SCREAMING for any kind of help, become hysterical, burst out in tears, anything but rationally making a few phone calls, wrapping the victim in towels and carrying the body downstairs in a disabled fashion.

Seventhly, this  extract from your statement makes you sound very implausible.

“I grabbed my 9mm pistol from underneath my bed. On my way to the bathroom I screamed words to the effect for him/them to get out of my house and for Reeva to phone the police. It was pitch dark in the bedroom and I thought Reeva was in bed.” With your screaming as you put it, and with her being in bed as you state you believed, did you not expect some sort of response from her, and if she did not respond, did you not find this strange?

I would fire my lawyer if I were you. If you were his son, would he have submitted the statement you have made?

He may be a highly respected advocate with an almost bulletproof reputation (excuse the pun), but why would you need him if you were telling the truth? Why would Barry Roux deem it necessary to slaughter the prosecution if your only blunder was mistaken identity? Isn’t it almost cynical that your bought protector bares the same name as the late Reeva’s natural protector? 

Eighthly, if you seriously believed that you accidently killed Reeva, why did you not make any attempt to personally call her parents and inform them of the tragedy? This is the least any remorseful killer would do, don’t you agree? The start of a purifying process would begin at the feet of the persons most affected by this loss! 

Ninethly, this may not be a bad thing at all, but why should it have been brought to the public’s attention that you requested a Bible from prison? Should the fact that you may be a Christian suddenly force the world to see your mistake in a different light and stop them from frowning down at you? It is a common fact that many criminals tend to turn to God once they have committed the unforgivable and are caught out. All of a sudden the message “Jesus died for your sins” becomes a psychological crutch, especially for the ones who know that they have committed the unthinkable and are forced through a judicial system to stand trial for this wrongdoing. 

Tenthly, the results of the forensic inquest should verify everything you have said, as you were there. You knew exactly what happened as you were instrumental in making it happen. The outcome will not serve any purpose in excusing your actions. Neither will your statement: “After the shooting I did not attempt to flee. Rather, I accepted Stander would contact the police, and I remained at the scene.” This is obvious as the shooting happened at your home. To flee would be more stupid than some of the things you have stated and some of the blunders Hilton Botha made.

Oscar, I do feel an enormous amount of compassion for you. I cannot imagine the burden you are carrying, being the only one knowing what the real state of affairs was and also knowing that so many are doubtful of your word. I pray that you will find emancipation from this horror you have brought onto yourself by doing the right thing.