MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Comments: 3
Article views: 221
Latest Badges:

View all Tyronehster's badges.

Ball Games

10 February 2014, 07:17

It took a lot of balls for Sir Iru to relate this morning the story he did, and because he’s so intent on topping me, I think it’s my turn.

A farmer found out he was going to die shortly and decide it was time to divide his farm up among his three sons. It was a small farm. In fact, it was a smallholding, but I don’t like to speak of smallholding and balls in the same sentence.

Nevertheless, his farm was ten (10) acres! That’s right, count them, ten! And he had to divide his farm between his sons. Or have I already said that?

He said to the oldest, ‘Son, I’m giving you six acres.’

‘Thank you, father.’  Very formal.

He turned to the middle son and said, ‘I’m giving you four acres.’

The youngest son wailed, ‘What about me?’

He kicked him in the balls and said, ‘There’s two achers to start with.’

Now I know this is not funny, because it’s so painful, but once you’ve wiped the tears from your streaming eyes, you’ll see the story has merit. In bygone days, the youngest son had to go abroad to seek his fortune, so this was a good, if painful, result for him.

Speaking of balls, Helen Zille seems to have lost hers, along with her marbles. What was she doing proposing Ramphele Mamphele as Presidential candidate of the DA?

She always reminded me of Margaret Thatcher, who had more balls than her entire cabinet. Once, when lunching at the Whitehall canteen with two of her senior ministers, the waiter approached and, of course, deferred to her. ‘What’ll you have?’ he murmured.

‘The roast beef,’ she said, handing back the menu.


‘They’ll have the same.’

Somewhere along the line Godzille lost her balls of steel.

Very silly

Helen Zille

Made an offer to Ramphele

Be a DA resident

And we’ll make you President

Silly, silly move, that.

And speaking of the French (we weren’t? My memory must be going.)

And speaking of the French (we weren’t? My memory must be going.)

So, yes, speaking of the French, I mentioned a while ago that they regard themselves as the world’s greatest lovers and nowhere is this better borne out than in the following story.

Pierre Duval goes into a gay bar in gay Paree and has a glass or two of wine, then one of Pernod. Afterwards, as nature would have it, he needs to visit the gents, which he does.

As he walks in, he sees a very effeminate-looking young man standing at the urinal and he stands next to him. Looking down, he says, ‘M’sieur, what a beautiful tool you have!’

The young man, most flattered, and not a little aroused, says, ‘Oh, thank you!’

‘Please, may I touch it?’

‘Ooh, of course!’

And Pierre touches and strokes it, then exclaims, ‘M’sieur, your balls! They are too wonderful! Please, may I touch them?’

Now Pierre is a handsome and charming chap, and the young man says, ‘Ooh, of course!’

‘Aah, they are too wonderful! Like silk: please, may I hold them?’

‘Ooh yes, of course you can!’ says the young man excitedly.

Pierre slips his hand into the young man’s trousers and holds his goolies.  ‘Your wallet, please.’

Now I know this is not the sort of story I should be telling on this highly esteemed forum, and for that I apologise, but it’s a Friday and thank goodness I don’t drink, or I would drown my sorrows and my shame at having written, nay submitted! an article of this nature.

Finally, let me say, ‘Give that man a Balls!’

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Essop Moola
Freeze - May I search you?

Can you legally refuse to be searched and if so when? Read more...

0 comments 5842 views
Submitted by
Lerato Kasa
Can Hlaudi Motsoeneng continue to...

All the efforts of undermining the public protector Ms Thuli Madonsela by the SABC Chief Operating Officer Mr Hlaudi Motsoeneng has proven that he is not alone in such a bid.  Read more...

0 comments 1283 views
Submitted by
SA riders vs drivers: Biggest pet...

From ‘slapping side-mirrors’ to ‘changing lanes without indicating’, Wheels24 users share their biggest pet peeves about motorcyclists and car drivers in South Africa. Read more...

14 comments 8311 views
Submitted by
The problem with defining people ...

A while ago there was a spate of articles about white privilege that I really wanted to respond to but business being what it is I simply didn't get the time. However considering the racial nature that many of the discussions on all social media platforms soon descends to the topic is as relevant as ever. Read more...

0 comments 530 views
Submitted by
Yolanda Mtintsilana
I am a happy feminist

I am a happy feminist and I do not want a head in my house but two hands that are going work together to build a home.  Read more...

0 comments 779 views
Submitted by
Bobby Shabangu
Let's talk about Gaddafi

What crimes did Muammar Gaddafi actually commit? 

0 comments 1266 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2015 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.