This article is a response to Micheal Rhodes article “ Black girl, white boy”
I had shit hair whilst I was growing up and was often teased for it and because of this I told myself that I would marry a white guy so that my babies will have nice hair. My name is Lebo and I am a young black woman working towards becoming a chartered account. The last couple of years the only relationships I have been in were with white men.
I became obsessed with the idea of marrying a white guy at a very young age. I use to reminisce and wish, but in a racist small town like Nylstroom(Modimollw), interracial relationships were virtually non-existent. I was hopeful but never really thought that this kind of thing would happen for a small town girl like me. When I first moved to Cape Town I started meeting a lot of white guys and they were interested in me. Initially I was overwhelmed by the attention and I swear the title “Tourist Slut” would have fitted me well. I hooked up with so many white men, mostly foreigners and couple of South Africans.
My first white boyfriend was significantly older than me, and not to sound egotistical, but I think I was out of his league and could have done much better, but I was soo consumed by the idea of a white guy that I did not care how the hell he looked. The relationship didn’t last that long, we had nothing in common and almost never had anything to talk about.
My second white boyfriend I met in a night club. He was also a couple of years older than me. He was what I would like to call a racist. He was always criticizing black people and told me upfront that he did not want to marry me as he did not want to taint his blood line by creating coloured babies. We stayed together for two shit years. So many times when we were together I thought of leaving, but I was enjoying being the centre of attention. Everywhere we went people would look at us. To me it didn’t matter whether the reaction was positive or negative, I just loved the attention.
I haven’t been with a black guy since my teenage years. I do notice attractive black men but I’m just not particularly interested in being with them. I find them a bit boring and too cultured. I have been subject to a lot of backlash from friends and family for my dating preferences. In response to their criticisms I went on a couple of dates with black men but there was just no attraction and no chemistry.
I will admit that there are some challenges that come with dating a white person. Very often I find myself being the only black person in a group full of white people. Most white people generally don’t know how to interact with black people. They never know what to say to us and try so hard that it makes us feel awkward and different.
Initially it was very difficult for me to meet white guys, but now it happens naturally. I don’t even have to try anymore, it’s like I produce a pheremone that attracts white men. I have become more comfortable with white people and I am more accustomed to their culture. To me, interracial relationships are just like any normal relationship. I feel no hatred towards black men being black myself, but I prefer being with white men. I am attracted to their lifestyle. I find them to be more affectionate, passionate and more open minded. I also think their hair is amazing and that’s it.