I feel the need to clarify the point that I was trying to get across in my previous article. For those of you who did not read my article titled “ Black girl dating white men”; and you have no idea what the hell I am talking about, refer below for a direct quote from the article:
“I had shit hair whilst I was growing up and was often teased for it and because of this I told myself that I would marry a white guy so that my babies would have nice hair. My name is Lebo and I am a young black woman working towards becoming a chartered account. The last couple of years the only relationships I have been in were with white men. “
From the feedback that I received the general feel was that people thought that I was a black bimbo who would base her dating preferences soley on her burning obsession with silky long hair.
Some people referred to me as sellout and a wannabe, a comment which is not at all suprising to me, BTW I get that a lot and have never really taken much offence as I know who I am and what I am about.
This response is specifically directed to my fellow black brothers and sisters. Read below, take a look at me, take a look at yourself and tell me just how different we are. If you can relate to any of the statements below, then unfortunately I have to break it to you, we are one in the same; Brother…Sister...!!!
I have noticed that a lot of black people carry a lot of baggage, particularly in corporate South Africa. Hell being black is hard, we constantly have to prove ourselves. We have to work a little harder just to get noticed. Our cultural beliefs and principles are considered inferior, hence we are persistently shifting towards the western ways of life.
Even after many years of independence, we are religiously, morally and socially colonized by the Western society. If you disagree then ask yourself the following questions and answer them truthfully without making any self justifications:
1) Why do we relax and weave our hair? Is it because we want long luxurious hair resembling that of whites? ( I am black sister, I had an afro once, Yeah natural hair is hard to maintain, but really?? Is that it?)
2) Why do some of us wear contacts to change the color of our eyes? Green? Blue? Hazel? FYI miss Khanyi Mbau and yours truly
3) Why do most black people that have attained finacial success move to the whitesuburbs and proceed to living the white lifestyle? ( No doubt Mr Zuma built a house in a village, but that house resembles that of white man.)
4) Are we subconsciously trying to be like white people by transforming ourselves to be just like them?
5) Why is it that when a black person dates a white person they receive admiration from their friends? Status??
6) Why is it that we call all things nice and fancy white?
7 )Why is it that someone who speaks proper english is considered to be smarter than someone who speaks bantu english?
8) Why is it that light skinned black people are considered to be more attractive than darker toned black people? Beyonce and kelly Rowland?? In my opinion Kelly Rowland has better facial features than beyonce, no; yes?
9) Why is it that white people receive better service from black tellers and waiters at supermarkets and resturuants respectively? It can’t possibly be because we don’t tip very well!
10) Why are most young black women lightening their skin and surgically altering their noses to make them pointy? FYI the Ghostly Mshoza and a some big names..Beyonce; Rihanna …and the list goes on and on and on…..
You may not know where all your preferences stem from…It may not have started with you. After all you are merely mimicking what you are accustomed too. I can assure that it all started with black people trying to be white. Society has taught us that the western way of life is the only way and that to be accpeted we have to adapt. Feel free to challenge me but even you cannot deny the fact that by doing all these things you are creating an illusion that white is better than black.
Like I said in one of my comments, maybe my preference for whte men is pyschological, maybe it’s a reflection of my low self esteem or maybe, maybe I just like long silky hair.